Being self-referential leads you to your True North

Peace and blessings be bestowed upon all.

What does it mean to be self-referential?

Self-referential means referring to your own self—referring to your true inner self.

Wading through the wild jungle of societal norms, parental voices, and made-up voices of other people that are cluttering your mind at any given time... walking through all of that and carving your own path is being self-referential. It means referring to your own inner guidance, referring to your own self for advice, for wisdom, for insight, for direction, for choices, for next steps—and of course, for your goals, your vision, the dream and the intention that you have for this life.

Being self-referential is freeing. Because you can never go wrong referring to yourself. Even if something you do or say turns out to be—quote unquote—a mistake. There are no such things as mistakes. You learn from it for your own personal growth.

You can take ownership for it. You can take accountability for your own actions. And there's no one else to blame—and that is freeing. You know that you have carved your own path.

Conversely, any good steps, any good words, any good actions you've taken are also because of your own efforts, your own initiative, and guidance. You can learn to accept praise and learn to celebrate your own success without deflecting it to somebody else.

No person is an island. Yes, we are working together. Everyone is interdependent. But when it comes to success, if you deflect it to the rest of the world, then you're not owning the fruits of your own labor, of your own genius, your own intellect, and your own intuition.

So, being self-referential is freeing in that way. When you refer to your own self for next steps, you're truly living in alignment with yourself. By taking small steps each day, asking yourself, “What do I need? What do I want? What do I do?”, you're moving bit by bit forward on your path, in the direction of your dream life. And in doing so, you are living your dream life now. Every time you reject an outside opinion—an outside voice telling you what to do or influencing your decisions—every time you reject that, you're living a life in alignment with True North.

It happens in moments. It happens in every single action or inaction, day by day. It’s not some glorious future phase where alignment with the true self is complete and done. It's a gradual process of becoming more and more in tune with who you are—who you truly are—and then expressing that out into the outer world from the inner world.

Now, let's talk about this thing called doubt. There are two versions of doubt.

One is when doubt emerges from a lack of trust in your inner self—a lack of trust in your own intuition, intellect, experience, skills, and talents. That one clearly comes from not knowing your true power, your true capabilities and your true talents.

The other flavor of doubt is not really doubt. It shows up looking like doubt, but it is actually cautious hesitation—or procrastination in some cases. It’s consciously delaying something. That kind of hesitation may appear as doubt, but it's actually an inner warning signal, an inner red flag that goes up and asks you to pause before taking action or saying something.

It’s like a red light at an intersection, or the bar that goes down at a railroad crossing—stop. It’s asking you to pause, to reflect, before you move forward, because there may be impending danger or discomfort if you continue on that path.

So, when you feel a lack of energy, a lack of inspiration, a lack of the excitement you used to feel about something, it's your inner compass guiding you. It's asking you to take a moment to reflect on where you are and where you want to go. To see if your current path is in alignment with your vision. Because inwardly, we all know what we want. It's just layers and layers of covering up that make us feel like, “I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I should do. I don't know the purpose of my life.”

You do know. Inwardly, deep down, you do know.

We’re just not able to access it because of these layers. And what are these layers? These layers are habitual patterns, habitual practices of not asking yourself for what you want, not asking yourself for direction. They are patterns of being scared of the consequences of taking responsibility for your own actions—so you delegate or deflect responsibility to someone else. That way, if something doesn't pan out, you can avoid the blame of that “failure”.

But life is full of experiences—learning moments. Being scared of that unhooks you from your own growth and development on the path.

These layers are made up of other people’s voices, past experiences, shame or guilt (felt from within or imposed from the outside), and memories of times you acted from your true self and were reprimanded, punished, or faced negative consequences because you were not in an environment that supported your way of being. You were not in an environment conducive for your true self to blossom. It was, in fact, shut down—beat out of you.

But now, as an adult living your own life, you can reclaim that part of yourself. You can nurture it. You can cultivate, take care of, and encourage that little blossom, that little flower of your true inner self that is wanting to flourish. It just needs the right conditions. Give it the right conditions and watch yourself shoot out of the ground, blossoming like a tall, flourishing tree—very fast, like bamboo grass growing rapidly with just the right amount of nurturing, encouragement, and trust.

Trusting that your inner guidance is here for you, helping you move toward your True North.

Being self-referential is a powerful way of being. It’s a rebellious way of being. It’s a bold way of being—even if the way it looks is very quiet, soft, and gentle. It’s still bold.

Every time you say no to a request—when you truly want to say no—you are being self-referential.

Every time you cater to your own needs, you are being self-referential.

Every time you look within for answers, ask yourself for guidance, do stream-of-consciousness writing, journaling, introspective exercises, or self-guided or guided visual journeys, you are being self-referential.

And you do not need to do external research when you are being self-referential. You are in tune with your intuition, with the universal energy that contains all the information you need. You can tap into that infinite portal of wisdom and knowledge.

Being self-referential also attunes you to little nudges, little hunches, little premonitions that you are continuously being alerted to.

The biggest hurdle? Second-guessing. Doubting.

Don’t second-guess yourself. Your choices—your decisions that come from alignment with your True North—may not always make rational sense. But that’s okay. They don’t have to be rational. Because they are not rational. They are something even better. They are tapped into an infinite portal of universal knowledge and wisdom and experience that is beyond the rational human mind. It’s a supercomputer of supercomputers.

If you rely on that as your inner source—your guidance system, your navigation system—there is nothing to question or second-guess. When you know that, it helps you become more confident.

There’s help. There’s support. There are guides. There are mentors. There are energies wanting to support you for your highest good.

So start going deeper on this path of being self-referential. Maybe you’ve already done a lot of work in this area—keep going.

If you feel disconnected from being self-referential, that’s okay. In fact, that’s great, because now you know what it feels like not to be. And now, as you step into being self-referential, you will know the difference. You will feel the relief, the calm, the peace, the contentment that begins to grow in your life experience.

Even though it may feel chaotic or a little bit uncomfortable at first—because any new growth has growing pains—it doesn’t have to. You can be gentle. You get to choose how you approach it.

And you won’t go wrong when you rely on your inner ethical compass, your moral compass, with an intention rooted in a wholesome, benevolent, non-harming way of being. That is your path to doing good—for yourself and for others.

So ask yourself: In what ways have I not been self-referential?

Think of one, two, or three incidents when that happened. In what ways did I delegate responsibility to others or allow others' ideas about how I should live my life to influence my decisions?

There is no judgment here. Just awareness. It’s just knowing.

Know what you’ve been doing. Know the patterns you’ve practiced. And don’t judge yourself. You did nothing wrong. It’s all part of the journey—stepping stones on the path of your life experience. There’s no judgment in that. It’s important, don’t judge yourself for it because you did nothing wrong. Everything you’ve experienced is all stepping stones on your life journey.

Once you’ve reflected on that, ask yourself: What are some things I need to do differently? Where can I be more self-referential? Pick any of these questions. You don’t have to answer them all. Just see what arises.

Where do I need to be more self-referential?

What change can I anticipate in my life when I am being self-referential?

Take a couple of minutes to reflect. Not a huge process—just a few minutes of honest reflection. Use bullet points, doodles, full sentences, lists—whatever flows naturally as answers. Just jot it down.

And then, ask yourself this:

What is stopping me from relying on my own self?
From my own talents?
From my own ingenuity?
From my own initiatives?

What is stopping me from being self-referential—relying on my own inner guidance system?

With this introspective process, you will unearth a gold mine of awareness, of insights—and possibly, some new action steps and new ways of being.

A new way of being that is in alignment with your True North.
That helps you live a life of meaning and purpose.

It’s simple.
It’s fulfilling.

Emotionally.
Spiritually.
And financially.