Stop Trying to Change Your Life

The one shift that actually works isn’t about doing more. It’s about winning the inner game first.

Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash

First published on Medium

Let’s get straight to the heart of it.

You’ve probably tried to change your life from the outside in.

You set a goal. You hustle. You rearrange the external circumstances, hoping it will finally make you feel the way you want to feel.

It’s like rearranging the furniture in a burning house.

I (Cristof) was doing this for years. Until a simple moment on a gym bench — and a line from a movie — showed me the only way that actually works.

I was at a raffle, losing. My number wasn’t called. Again and again.

And I felt myself slump into the old story: “I guess I just don’t win these things.”

I was embodying “Someone Who Doesn’t Win.” And my reality was complying.

But right then, I made a choice. I initiated an identity shift.

I sat up straight. I smiled. I celebrated the others as if I were a winner who knew my turn was coming.

I didn’t just act like a winner. I felt like one.

The very next drawing? My number was called.

Then it was called again. And again. I won three times.

The prizes were small, but the lesson was everything: Your external world is a lagging indicator of your internal identity.

This is what Neville Goddard meant, in The Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book), when he said the truth that sets you free is to

“experience in imagination what you desire to experience in reality.”

And it’s what Coach Carter, in the movie Coach Carter (affiliate link to movie), played by Samuel L. Jackson, meant by:

“Winning in here is the key to winning out there.”

“Winning in here” has nothing to do with a basketball court. It’s about the inner court of your mind.

Most people get this wrong in one of two ways:

1. They are clear on the what, but fuzzy on the who.
   They know they want $10,000 a month, but they haven’t become the person who has and earns that with ease. That person is calm, confident, and sees themselves as a high-value creator. Who must you be?

2. They understand the concept, but skip the feeling.
   They visualize the goal, but they don’t live in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. They daydream about the future instead of reliving the present fact.

Your only job is to assume the feeling. Persist in it. When the old “losing streak” appears, ignore the echo.

The shift happens now. In here.

Then, and only then, does the world out there have no choice but to conform.

P.S. This is the exact work we do every day in our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI). It’s not just a group; it’s a living practice where we support each other in making these shifts permanent. If you’re ready to stop rearranging furniture and put out the fire for good, you belong with us.
Join the free SYI Community Here