The key to a limitless mind is already in your mind.
On this blog, we provide the mindset tools, affirmations, and wisdom to help you turn that key.
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How to Stop Negative Thoughts Without Fighting Yourself
A tense moment with my wife led to a 5-step mental reset that works for anxiety, creative blocks, and self-doubt.
Photo by Eilis Garvey on Unsplash
Transparency Note: The article below contains affiliate links to book titles. If you purchase something through it, Sophia and I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. This directly supports our work here. I only ever share tools I use and believe in.
That familiar, cold dread of “I did something wrong” washed over me. I had upset Sophia.
It wasn’t just what I said but how I said it. It was my tone — too sharp, too full of unseen pressure. The moment the words left my mouth, I felt the atmosphere between us ice up. I saw it in her eyes: a flicker of hurt, a closing off.
If you’ve ever felt that twist in your gut after a misspoken word, or the heavy silence that follows, you know the script. The mind races into battle. Defensiveness rises like a shield: “I didn’t mean to say it like that.” Or, shame takes the wheel: “I’m a terrible husband.” We believe we have to fight or suppress the negative feeling to make things right. It’s exhausting, and it never works.
In that tense silence, a simple, shared memory surfaced. We’d recently seen a movie where a couple, mid-argument, stopped and counted down together: 3… 2… 1… and then took a deep, synchronized breath.
“Let’s breathe together,” I said to Sophia, my voice softer now.
We held hands. We counted down. And we breathed. Three times.
That was Step One. We had just initiated what we now call The G.R.E.A.T. Reset — a 5-step method to regain power when your mind turns against you. It’s the framework Sophia and I teach in our abundance mindset classes, and in that raw, personal moment, it became the lifeline for our relationship.
Here’s what happened, step by step, and how you can use it for anything from marital spats to creative resistance.
G — Ground & Get Perspective.
We held hands. We took the breaths. The countdown (a trick that echoes Mel Robbins’ 5-Second Rule — it implies a significant change about to happen) forced a pause. In that pause, I named the thought without becoming it: “I notice I’m having the thought that I ruined the evening,” while Sophia located the hurt in her stomach. Just that — a noticing. This is non-judgmental awareness. It creates a sacred space between you and the mental noise. The emotion is allowed to exist. And here’s the counter-intuitive magic: By allowing it space, it begins to lose its power of our psyche.
R — Release & Reframe.
I felt the shame sitting in my chest. I breathed into that tight space. Instead of arguing with the feeling, I thanked it. “Thank you, mind, for bringing up this old conditioning so I can release it.” Sophia used forgiveness instead of gratitude and placed the task to forgive me and her past self for creating these thoughts and feeling into the hands of a higher power. Gratitude and forgiveness disarm the inner critic. You’re not fighting the hurt; you’re reframing it as a blessing in disguise and opportunity to heal so you can easily let it go.
Whether you use gratitude as a reframe or forgiveness as a release, the goal is the same: to disarm the critic’s power by meeting it with compassion, not combat.
E — Embody Your Empowered Self.
This is remembering the core identity shift. We asked ourselves: “Who would we be right now without this thought of being ‘the partner who messed up’ or ‘the hurt victim’? Who are we aspiring to be?” The answer was clear: Harmonious and Compassionate Partners who feel joyful and peaceful, who move through life with ease and lightness. We consciously stepped into that identity. Our posture changed, our hands still connected. We were no longer a problem to be solved; we were a team facing a moment of friction.
A — Activate and Anchor the Antidote Feeling.
The antidote to shame and hurt is connection. We remembered our state of feeling joyful, peaceful, easeful, and light. We actively generated these feelings. We noticed the release. We felt relief. A small, unnoticeable smile began to form. It wasn’t forced; it was the natural expression of the identity we had just chosen.
T — Turn & Take New Action.
The emotional loop was broken. Now, we turned inward. We gently placed our attention on the lingering tightness in our bodies — my chest, her stomach — and enveloped those spaces with the new feeling of peace and connection. Then, we took action to allow a change in physiology to cement the shift in our mental state: Sophia grabbed a tissue, I stretched, then we hugged. The conversation that followed came from a place of “us,” not “me vs. you.”
This reset isn’t just for relationships. It’s for any moment your mind rebels.
Take the classic “I’m too tired for the gym” thought.
G: “I notice I’m having the thought that I’m too tired.” (Pause, one breath).
R: “Thanks, mind, for looking out for my energy. I’ve got this.” (Release the grip that tiredness has over your mind and body).
E: “Who would I be without this thought? The athlete who feels energized and proud after a workout.” (Step into that person’s posture).
A: Generate a shot of determination and excitement to get to move your athlete body. Feel it. Smile.
T: Turn to the tiredness and envelope it with warmth and light; then put on your gym clothes and shoes. Just the first small action that leads to many other healthy actions that follow.
The thought isn’t gone. It isn’t suppressed either. It’s just background noise that has come and will leave in due time. You are in the driver’s seat because you are no longer the tired person — you are the athlete who shows up.
Most mindset shift techniques fail because they start with a battle. “Stop thinking that!” The G.R.E.A.T. Reset succeeds because it starts with compassionate witnessing. It is a practical, immediate application of the teachings we love — from the Buddha’s mindfulness practices to Neville Goddard’s assumption (in The Power of Awareness) to James Clear’s Atomic Habits. You assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled (Embody & Activate) by first making peace with where you are (Ground & Release), then let the wholesome habits of the person you strive to be take over (Turn & Take Action).
The Unspoken Belief We All Hold:
We believe our negative thoughts are orders we must obey, magma we must keep from erupting, or enemies we must destroy. The gentler truth is that they are just weather patterns in the mind. You don’t fight the storm. You learn to ground yourself within it, and let it pass.
Your Practical Takeaway: The next time a negative thought arises — be it doubt before a client call, resistance to a creative project, or frustration in a relationship — don’t fight it. Pause. Say “Time for a G.R.E.A.T. Reset.” Go through the steps. It takes 60 seconds tops. You are not managing a thought; you are consciously choosing who to be.
This is the essence of identity shifting. You move from being plagued by a thought to being the person who transcends it through awareness and choice.
Changing your identity in a vacuum is hard. The mind loves its old, familiar stories. That’s why we created Shift Your Identity (SYI), our free Skool community.
It’s a space of like-minded people on the path of manifestation, assumption, and conscious creation. Here, you find more than inspiration — you find accountability. You can share your reset wins, get support on your stuck points, and practice these shifts in a supportive tribe. The journey from knowing to being is always lighter together.
If this resonated with you — if you’re tired of battling your mind and ready to start compassionately redirecting it — you’re who we built this community for.
Breathe. Reset. Step into who you choose to be. We are there, doing it alongside you.
With peace and belief,
Sophia & Cristof
The 3 Stages of Every Spiritual “Block” (And How to Move Through Them)
Your resistance isn’t a stop sign. It’s a diagnosis — and here’s what it’s trying to tell you.
Photo by Patrick Perkins on Unsplash
Let’s get real about resistance.
That feeling of being stuck — the “block” between you and what you want — isn’t a flaw in the universe’s delivery system.
It’s a flaw in your interpretation.
Most teachings will tell you to push through, visualize harder, or “raise your vibration.” But what if that struggle is the most important signal you’re getting?
From my own journey and many conversations in our community, I see people hitting this wall in one of three ways. See which one sounds familiar.
Stage 1: You see the 3D problem, but miss the 3D mirror.
The incompetent receptionist. The slow client. The crashed website.
Your focus is entirely on the external “problem.” The story you tell is about their incompetence, their slowness, their fragility.
What you need isn’t a solution to their issue.
You need to recognize that the outer world is simply showing you a printout of your inner software.
Stage 2: You understand the law, but you argue with it.
You know the quote: “Your assumptions create your reality.”
You can even feel the truth of it. But when a trigger hits, your first reaction is still blame. And then, your second reaction is annoyance… at the law itself.
Because taking full, 100% responsibility is, in the moment, incredibly annoying. Blame is easier.
What’s missing isn’t knowledge.
It’s a protocol for that exact moment — a way to meet the annoyance without letting it run the show.
Stage 3: You’re doing the work, but you’re still at war with yourself.
You catch the old assumption. You state the new one. But there’s a tug of war in your mind. Part of you clings to the old story, and you think you have to fight that part until it surrenders.
This internal battle feels like a block. It feels like failure.
What’s needed isn’t more force.
It’s the gentle art of allowing two contradictory truths to coexist until the old one, untouched and unfed, simply dissolves.
Wherever you are, the path forward is the same. It’s not about fighting the block.
It’s about realizing the block itself is the compass. Its uncomfortable pressure is pointing directly to the assumption that needs your attention, not your anger.
I was in Stage 2 just the other day, annoyed at a vet’s receptionist and then immediately annoyed at Neville Goddard for being right.
The shift didn’t come from winning a mental battle. It came from a simple, peaceful practice I now use whenever that “blocked” feeling arises: Pause. Question. Allow.
It’s the practice we live by in our free Shift Your Identity community. Because the goal isn’t to become a perfect manifestor. It’s to become a peaceful observer of your own power, one triggered moment at a time.
If you’re ready to trade the war of your blocks for a conversation with them, you’re exactly who we built it for.
👉 Join the Shift Your Identity Community Here
Peace begins on the other side.
Here’s to your alignment,
Sophia (& Cristof)
Make the shift inwardly. The mirror of life is bound to conform.
The 3 Stages Where Your Manifestations Get Stuck (And How To Move Forward)
I was trapped in Stage 2 at the pull-up bar. Here’s the single question that built the bridge to Stage 3.
Photo by Aleksandr Barsukov on Unsplash
Let’s get straight to it.
This work — the real work of shifting your identity to change your reality — isn’t about more information.
You already know what to do.
But knowing and being are two different worlds.
And most people get trapped in the gap between them.
I see it all the time. From my own journey and from guiding our community, people who understand the law get stuck in one of three places.
See which one sounds familiar.
Stage 1: You understand the concept, but your 3D world hasn’t budged.
You’ve read Neville Goddard’s book The Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book). You get the “feeling is the secret” part.
But when you look at your bank account, your relationships, or your fitness level… it feels like you’re staring at proof that the law doesn’t work for you.
You’re waiting for the outside to change to prove the inside shift is real.
What you need isn’t another teaching. You need a “halfway pull-up.”
Stage 2: You’re doing the practices, but from the old identity.
You visualize. You affirm. You script.
But you’re doing it as the person who lacks the thing, trying to get it. There’s a subtle strain, a quiet desperation in the background. It feels like spiritual homework, not embodied truth.
This is why it feels fragile. You’re building the new identity on the shaky foundation of the old one.
What you need is to stop the old story before it starts.
Stage 3: You have moments of breakthrough, but you can’t sustain the state.
You’ve had glimpses. A flash of perfect confidence. A day where money flowed easily. A workout where you felt unstoppable.
But then life happens, and you snap back to the old default. It feels like trying to hold a new pose that your muscles keep forgetting.
What’s missing isn’t belief. It’s a daily repetition so simple that failure is impossible.
Then, naturally, the sky is the limit.
I was in Stage 2 just the other day.
Standing under the pull-up bar, my coach asked me to try. My mind instantly served up the inner talk of the old identity:
“I can’t do a pull-up yet.”
I was about to retreat. To confirm the old story.
But my coach simply said,
“From what I’ve seen, you’re closer than you think.”
His words didn’t give me strength. They reminded me of the identity I’d been practicing in my mind for months: the athlete.
I pulled myself higher than ever before.
That “halfway pull-up” wasn’t the final goal. It was the 3D proof my subconscious needed to lock in the new story. It was the bridge between Stage 2 and Stage 3.
This is the entire game:
Find your “halfway pull-up.”
For our writing, it was hitting “publish” daily. That action could only come from the identity “I am an abundant author,” not from “I am a wanna-be writer.”
That one shift changed everything.
Wherever you are, your next step is to identify and complete your very next “halfway pull-up.”
Not the full manifestation. Just the one, small, physical action that only the new version of you would confidently take.
Do that, and you’ve given the 3D its first instruction to conform.
Your “Halfway Pull-Up” This Week
The theory is simple. The practice is where freedom is won.
Your mission is to finish this sentence:
“This week, the new version of me will…”
Make it so small that it’s effortless.
“…write one paragraph before checking email.”
“…schedule 15 minutes of quiet for visualization.”
“…say no to one thing that drains my energy.”
Just name it. That’s the first pull.
Extra-credit for lasting change: Write it in the comments below. Declare it. This public commitment is a powerful act of self-assumption. It tells your subconscious you’re serious, and it lets us celebrate your start.
Where This Goes Next
A single “halfway pull-up” creates momentum. But true identity shift requires a practice — a supportive space where your new self is reflected back to you daily, and where the old stories lose their power.
That’s why we built Shift Your Identity (SYI), our free Skool community.
It’s not another course. It’s a living workshop where we:
Name & celebrate our weekly “pull-ups.”
Troubleshoot the old stories when they surface.
Practice the “feeling-first” method together in real-time.
If you’re ready to move from reading about the shift to embodying it alongside others on the same path, you are welcome.
→ Click here to join Shift Your Identity for free.
Make the shift inwardly,
Cristof (and Sophia)
The mirror of life is bound to conform.
The Incompetent Receptionist — Or the Annoying Truth About My Inner Blocks
What a frustrating moment taught me about the one thing we get wrong about manifesting
Photo by Jill Heyer on Unsplash
I was annoyed. Deeply, petulantly, Monday-afternoon annoyed.
This wasn’t about world peace or an existential crisis. This was about my cat’s ultrasound. I was on the phone with the vet’s receptionist, a person I’m sure is perfectly lovely, as she fumbled through an explanation of the different tests they offer. She couldn’t clarify the difference between the two ultrasound procedures.
My mind spiraled.
How can you work here and not know this? I’m trying to make an informed decision for my furry family member. This is so incompetent.
The old, familiar script of blame was cued up and ready to roll. I could feel the story forming: The Incompetent Receptionist. A story I’d later share with my husband, Cristof, to validate my righteous frustration.
But in the space between my thought and my reaction, a teaching I’ve shared a hundred times echoed back at me, not as a theory, but as a stark, personal indictment:
“The drama of life is a psychological one in which all the conditions, circumstances and events of your life are brought to pass by your assumptions.” – Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness
Ouch.
In that moment, the vet’s office faded. The only reality was the one in my mind. My assumption wasn’t about the receptionist; it was far more personal. It was an old, hidden assumption about myself: “Getting what I need is a struggle. People in ‘helper’ roles won’t have the answers. I have to figure everything out the hard way.”
My annoyance at her was just a perfect, mirror-like reflection of that internal assumption manifesting in the 3D. I had called this exact play into being.
And here’s the part we rarely talk about on our spiritual journeys: My next feeling was a fresh wave of annoyance. This time, at Neville’s quote. At the teaching itself.
Because realizing you are the sole author of your reality is, theoretically, the most empowering concept in the universe. But in practice? It’s annoying. Blaming the receptionist, the economy, the algorithm, my upbringing—that’s easy. It’s a passive, victimhood cocoon. Taking full responsibility means the buck stops here, in the quiet of my own mind. No more casting characters for the role of “villain” in my story.
This is the unspoken truth about that “block” you feel. That stuckness, that feeling of a wall between you and your next step, isn’t a cruel trick of the universe. It’s not proof you’re “bad at manifesting.”
It is almost always a sign that you’ve bumped up against a deep, subconscious assumption that contradicts your conscious desire. And your frustration with the “block” is often just a disguised frustration with the annoying, inconvenient responsibility of having to change your mind.
So, what do you do when you find yourself here, in the gap between the blame you want to feel and the responsibility you know you must claim?
You do the simplest, most peaceful, and most counterintuitive thing of all.
You give the duality space to exist.
I didn’t force myself to suddenly feel love and light for the receptionist. I didn’t berate myself for being “a bad manifestor.” I simply became the observer of my own mind’s drama.
Part of me is annoyed and wants to blame.
Part of me knows I am the creator of this experience.
And both of these truths can coexist.
I allowed them both to be there, without judgment, without trying to instantly fix or spiritually bypass the “negative” one. I held space for my own humanity. In that space of allowance, the charge around the annoyance dissipated. The “block” wasn’t a solid wall to beat against; it was a cloud of contradictory energy that simply needed acknowledgment.
This is the practical, daily magic. It’s not about never feeling negative emotion. It’s about changing your relationship to it.
Your “Block” is Your Compass
That feeling of inner resistance is your most accurate guide. It’s not saying “STOP.” It’s saying, “PAUSE.”
The assumption you are holding in this area is not in alignment with the identity you wish to assume.
The next time you feel that familiar stuckness—whether it’s about money, a relationship, or your creative work—don’t try to manifest it away. Get curious.
Pause and Locate the 3D Trigger: What minor, annoying event just happened? (The slow email reply, the rejected pitch, the doubting friend).
Ask the Creator, Not the Victim: “What assumption must I be holding about myself or the world to have created this specific experience as my reality?” (e.g., “My ideas are easily dismissed,” “Money is hard to come by,” “I am not supported.”).
Allow the Duality: Admit, “Part of me believes that old story. And part of me knows I am the creator who can choose a new one.” Sit in that truth without forcing a resolution. Breathe into the space between.
This process isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about practicing awareness. The moment you can observe the old assumption without being wholly identified with it, you have already begun to master it. As Neville says, you move from being a slave to your assumptions to becoming their master.
The receptionist will eventually find the information. I fully trust that. But the real shift happened in my mind. I walked away from a mundane Monday stress-factor with a renewed, visceral understanding of the only truth that matters: my outer world is the signage of my inner assumptions.
And the path to changing the signage isn’t through force, but through a gentle, attentive, and sometimes annoyingly honest conversation with the only writer in the room—you.
If the idea of shifting your identity from the inside out resonates—if you’re tired of battling “blocks” and ready to understand them as your guides—you’re not alone. This is the work we do every day in our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI). It’s a space where mindful creators and seekers move from theory to embodied practice, supporting each other in rewriting those deep assumptions. We’d be honored to have you join the conversation.
👉 Join our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI), here.
The "State Shift" Method: How to Replace Hustle with Flow
A simple 3-step framework I used to land a 10,000-person audience by following a single, intuitive nudge.
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
Let’s get straight to the point.
Most people approach manifesting backwards.
They think it’s about getting something from the outside world.
I know I did. For years, my stomach would knot with anxiety as I tried to manifest big goals. Hustle and grind would ensue. Every task felt like a heavy “have-to.” I was building my future from a place of exhaustion, and a nagging whisper followed me everywhere: “Is this ever going to actually pay off?”
Then, a single sentence from Neville Goddard’s book The Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book) changed everything:
“Manifesting is nothing but experiencing the results of your concepts of yourself in the world.”
Let that settle for a moment.
It’s not about what you do. It’s about who you are while you’re doing it.
Your problem isn’t a lack of action. It’s the state from which you’re acting.
I was acting from “Sophia who wants and struggles,” instead of “Sophia who already has and enjoys.”
The shift happened when I stopped wanting my ocean-view home and started feeling what it was like to already have it. The peace. The security. The freedom.
I bathed in that feeling for five minutes. Then I got up.
My to-do list was the same. But the energy was completely different. A task that used to drain me now felt as natural and pleasant as an ocean breeze. I was no longer building my reality; I was expressing the one I had already claimed.
This is when the magic happens. When you act from this “wish fulfilled” state, your action transforms.
It becomes motivated by inspiration, not force.
It becomes intelligent, guided by intuition to the most effective steps.
It becomes magical, as a “bridge of incidents” unfolds that you could never have planned.
We needed to get our coaching program in front of thousands. The old me would have started a hustle campaign of some sorts.
The new, aligned us? Guided by intuition, we booked a yoga class.
On the community center sign-up page, we saw a link: “Apply to Become an Instructor.” We applied on a whim. Five minutes later, it was done.
48 hours after that, we were scheduled to teach our program, reaching thousands of people via the town’s Parks & Recreations newsletter and guide.
No hustle. Just ease. The path unfolded because we were already the people for whom visibility was natural.
The method is simple. We call it the “State Shift”:
Know What You Want. (Be specific.)
Identify the Core Feeling. (Why do you want it? The feeling is the real goal.)
Step Into the Identity. For five minutes, be the person who has it as a natural fact.
Do this three times a day. Morning, after lunch, before bed. You are reprogramming the source of your reality.
You stop rearranging the furniture and start rebuilding the foundation.
The transformation begins when you stop trying to create your reality and start experiencing it from within.
And if you’re ready to truly live this, not just understand it, our free Shift Your Identity community is where you can practice with a powerful, like-minded group.
You can join us here: https://www.simpleandaligned.com/syi
When you make the shift inwardly, the mirror of life is bound to conform.
Manifesting Isn’t About Getting What You Want
It’s about becoming who you already are. The moment I understood this, my reality had no choice but to change.
For years, I believed in the grind.
If I wanted the dream life — the ocean-view home, the thriving business, the financial freedom — I had to work hard for it. I had to hustle. I’d set a big goal, my stomach would knot with a mix of ambition and anxiety, and I’d start the slog.
The to-do lists were long. The effort was real. But so was the underlying vibration of lack. The nagging whisper: “Is this ever going to actually pay off?”
Every task, from writing a crucial article to the mundane admin of transferring blog posts between accounts, felt like a heavy “have-to.” I was building my future from a place of exhaustion, not excitement.
Then, a simple yet radical idea from Neville Goddard’s book The Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book) stopped me in my tracks. It reframed everything I thought I knew about manifesting:
“Manifesting is nothing but experiencing the results of your concepts of yourself in the world.”
Let that sink in for a moment.
It’s not about visualizing harder or reciting a thousand affirmations. It’s not about forcing the right action. It’s about your self-concept. Your identity. The state of consciousness from which you operate.
Neville goes on to say,
“Consciousness is the one and only reality.”
The world, he explains, has no motive of its own. It operates with “motiveless necessity,” meaning it has to reflect the arrangement of your mind — the sum total of all you believe and consent to be true.
My problem wasn’t a lack of action; it was the state from which I was acting. I was acting from “Sophia who wants and struggles,” instead of “Sophia who already has and enjoys.”
The shift happened in a morning meditation. Instead of wanting the ocean-view home, I decided to feel what it would be like to already have it. I felt the salty air on my skin, the vast, calm horizon, the deep, unshakable peace and financial abundance that view represented.
I bathed in that feeling for five minutes. Then I got up to face my day.
My to-do list was the same. I had to transfer a backlog of articles to our new Medium channel. But something was different.
The task that used to feel like a draining, doubtful chore now felt… pleasant. It felt like the ocean breeze. I was energized, motivated, and confident that this small, aligned action was part of a natural, unfolding process. I was no longer building my reality; I was expressing the reality I had already claimed within.
This is the secret they don’t tell you about “massive action.”
When you act from the “wish fulfilled,” your action transforms.
It becomes motivated: You’re not forcing yourself; you’re flowing with inspiration.
It becomes intelligent: Your intuition guides you to the most effective actions, not the most exhausting ones.
It becomes magical: The “bridge of incidents” — Neville’s term for the unfolding path — appears, offering solutions you could never have forced.
Let me give you a real-life example.
We’re building our coaching business, which means we need to get in front of people. The hustle mindset says: “Cold email 100 people! Go network! Grind!”
But from our new state of aligned creators, our intuition nudged us to simply book a yoga class at our local community center. While signing up, we noticed a link in the town newsletter: “Apply to Become an Instructor.”
Following the nudge, I filled out the form. It took five minutes. The next day, we had a meeting. A day after that, we were scheduling dates and fees. Suddenly, we were being offered a platform to reach tens of thousands of people in the town’s next Parks & Rec guide — not as yoga instructors, but to teach our program, ‘Ace Your Goals.’
No hustle. Just ease. The path unfolded because we were in the state of people for whom visibility is natural and easy.
Your Practical Framework: The “State Shift” Method
If you’re tired of the grind, try this. Don’t just read it — do it.
Know What You Want. Get specific. Is it $10,000 a month? A soulmate? Perfect health?
Identify the Core Feeling. Why do you want it? Is it security? freedom? joy? love? The feeling is the real goal.
Step Into the Identity. Who are you being once you have it? For five minutes, close your eyes and feel that feeling now. Be the person for whom this reality is a normal, natural fact.
Pro Tip: Do this 3x daily.
Morning: To set the tone for your day.
After Lunch: To reset and reclaim your state before your second work shift.
Before Bed: To let your subconscious mind work on it overnight.
This isn’t about denying your 3D reality; it’s about changing the source of your creation within it. You stop rearranging the external furniture and start rebuilding the internal foundation.
The World Mirrors Your Inner State
The bills might still be on the counter. The inbox might still be full. But from the state of the wish fulfilled, you handle it all with a new energy. You are no longer a beggar hoping the universe will provide. You are the architect, operating from the completed blueprint.
You are giving yourself the feeling you’ve been chasing all along. And in doing so, you become a magnet for the circumstances that match it.
The transformation begins when you stop trying to create your reality and start experiencing it from within.
Ready to Move From Knowing to Living It?
Understanding the theory is one thing. Consistently living in the state of the wish fulfilled is another. It requires practice, guidance, and a community that speaks your language.
Inside our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI), that’s exactly what you’ll find. This is where you can:
Practice the State: Get daily, structured guidance to help you embody these teachings.
Find Your People: Connect with a powerful community of like-minded creators and manifestors.
Get Unstuck: Receive the accountability and support to move through doubts and witness your own bridge of incidents unfold.
If you’re ready to replace the hustle with a feeling of natural, oceanic ease, you belong with us.
Click here to join the Shift Your Identity (SYI) community for free.
Your new state is waiting.
The Childhood Memory That Programmed Me to Self-Sabotage
…And How I’m Rewriting the Code
I (Sophia) couldn’t understand why I kept abandoning my dreams. The answer was 30 years old, hiding in a hallway, listening to my mom on the phone.
I thought my problem was time management.
I’d devoured every book, every blog post. I’d tried every productivity hack. For years, I’d cycle through the same pattern: I’d start a project with fiery passion. For three, maybe four days, I’d feel incredible—aligned, purposeful, and satisfied.
Then, without fail, I’d abandon it.
Something “more important” would pop up. A website bug that had to be fixed. An inbox that needed to be zeroed out. I’d tell myself a very logical story: “Let me just tie up all these loose ends. I need a clear mind and a clean slate to do my real work.”
But by the time the slate was clean, my energy was gone. My real work—the writing, the recording, the creating—never happened.
I blamed my willpower. I thought I was lazy, undisciplined, a dreamer who couldn’t execute.
I was wrong. My willpower was fine. It was being held hostage by a story written decades ago. It took a 100-year-old book by Émile Coué to make me look for the puppeteer. He introduced me to the ruthless power of the subconscious mind, which he called the imagination:
“Not only does the unconscious self preside over the functions of our organism, but also over all our actions. It is this that we call imagination and it is this which contrary to accepted opinion always makes us act even and above all against our will when there is antagonism between these two forces.”
My will wanted to create. But a stronger force was making me act against it.
It took a moment of deep honesty to find the source of that force: a young girl, standing in a hallway, listening to her mom on the phone.
I was that girl. I had ranked second in my class for years, and I was proud. I worked hard. I knew who was first, and I was genuinely happy being second. It felt like my place.
Then I heard my mom’s voice, tinged with a disappointment I’d never heard directed at me: “Oh yes, she again has only ranked second.”
The air left my lungs.
The message my heart received was catastrophic: Your best will never be good enough. The highest effort you can possibly muster will still be a disappointment.
So, my brilliant, young mind made a survival decision: If you can’t win, don’t play the game. If your best is a failure, never give your best.
It created a saboteur, a protector, whose sole job was to ensure I never put my whole heart into anything ever again. That way, I could never feel the crushing pain of my “best” being found wanting.
For 30 years, I didn’t know this protector existed. But she’s been running the show ever since that day in the hallway. She made me a puppet, and I never even saw the strings. Coué saw them clearly:
“We who are so proud of our will, who believe that we are free to act as we like, are in reality, nothing but wretched puppets of which our imagination holds all the strings.”
Her strategy is genius: Productive Procrastination.
When I start getting too close to my heart-work—the work that matters so much it could be deemed “my best”—she swings into action. She doesn’t tell me to be lazy. That would be too obvious.
Instead, she makes me productive. She creates a compelling, logical, and urgent case for doing everything except the important thing.
“You can’t write an article with a messy website! Fix it first!”
“How can you record a video with unorganized files? Organize them first!”
“Your inbox is full! You can’t possibly focus with that hanging over you.”
She is the ultimate Streamliner. Her justification is always about creating the “perfect conditions” for genius to strike.
But her real mission is to run out the clock. To ensure I never, ever put myself in a position where I risk giving my best effort and having it be “only second.” Because if I don’t truly try, I can’t truly fail. I had believed so proudly in my free will, but Coué was right:
“If we open a dictionary and look up the word ‘will’ we find this definition: ‘The faculty of freely determining certain acts’. We accept this definition as true and unattackable, although nothing could be more false, this will which we reclaim so proudly yields to the imagination. It is an absolute rule that admits of no exception.”
How I’m Learning to Fire the Protector
You don’t defeat this kind of deep programming with a new planner. You defeat it with compassion and conscious reprogramming. The goal is not to fight the imagination, but to guide it.
“We only cease to be puppets when we have learned to guide our imagination.”
Acknowledge the Protector with Love. I don’t fight her anymore. When I feel the urge to suddenly reorganize my entire life, I stop. I say, “Thank you. I see you. I know you’re trying to protect me from that old hurt. Your job is done now. I’ve got this.” Acknowledging her presence disarms her.
Redefine “Winning.” The child’s definition was: Winning = Being The Best (First Rank). My new definition is: Winning = Showing Up Authentically. My worth is not tied to an outcome—a ranking, a viral article, a number of subscribers. It is tied to the courage of creating and sharing. This reframes the entire game.
The “Good Enough” Rule. I actively practice doing things “good enough.” I send the email with a typo. I post the video with imperfect lighting. I publish the article that feels 80% there. This is direct action against the old program. It’s a rebellion against the need for a flawless “best.” It proves to my subconscious that the world doesn’t end when things aren’t perfect.
The New Autosuggestion. My Coué mantra is no longer about time or joy. It’s about identity and safety. I repeat, every morning and night: “My best is more than enough. I am safe to share my voice with the world.”
This is how we rewrite the code. Not with force, but with a gentle, persistent persuasion of our deepest selves. We thank the old protector for her service, and we finally, gently, take back the strings.
What’s a story from your past that you know is still running your present? Sharing it, even just in the comments, can be a first step in rewriting it.
All indented quotes in this article are from Coué’s book Self Mastery Through Conscious Autosuggestion*. If you’d like to read up on Coué’s wisdom yourself, feel free to explore it. It’s quick to read, a true classic, a treasure for life!
(*Amazon.com affiliate link: If you choose to click it and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission.)
This journey of untangling our past from our present is what we explore in the Simple and Aligned Newsletter. It’s about building a life and business that feels good because it’s run by the adult you, not the child who got hurt. Join us here for more.
How Stoplights Became My Spiritual Teachers (And What They’re Trying to Tell You)
I used to rage at red lights — until I discovered they were sacred mirrors. Here’s how to decode their messages and unlock your next evolution.
Photo by Oleksandr Danylchenko on Unsplash
I was late. Again. My fingers drummed the steering wheel as the red light mocked me.
“Hurry up. Change. Why does this always happen to ME?”
My chest tightened — until a whisper cut through my frustration:
“You’re not stuck. You’re being schooled.”
In that moment, I understood: Stoplights aren’t delays. They’re spiritual pop quizzes.
Every red light, every traffic jam, every “why is this taking so long?!” moment is a mirror held up by the universe. It asks:
Will you resist or receive?
Will you curse the pause or let it polish you?
Universal Truth:
“The universe doesn’t delay you — it prepares you.”
The Three Sacred Layers of Every Red Light
Layer 1: The Mirror
Your impatience isn’t about the light. It’s about where you’re resisting life itself.
🔍 Your Assignment next time impatience flares:
Name the sensation (“My jaw is clenched”).
Ask the mirror: “What ancient script am I replaying?” (Hint: It’s usually fear of being “behind”).
Layer 2: The Alchemy
Red lights force you into the one thing your soul craves: a moment of presence.
🌿 Try This:
Breathe in: “I accept this pause.”
Exhale: “I trust what’s unfolding.”
Notice: One beautiful detail (sunlight on asphalt, a child’s laugh from a nearby car).
Layer 3: The Upgrade
Every time you choose ease over urgency, you rewire your nervous system for divine timing.
✨ Soul Truth: “Delays are portals. Your calm is the key.”
The Sacred Mirror Worksheet: Your Personal Decoder
When I started tracking my reactions to “delays,” patterns emerged:
Monday’s traffic jam mirrored my dread of a meeting.
Thursday’s slow grocery line reflected my fear of “wasting time.”
That’s why I created the Self-Referential Reflection Worksheet — not as a to-do list, but as a sacred mirror to:
✔ Spot your soul’s recurring lessons (e.g., “Why does ‘waiting’ trigger me?”)
✔ Decode resistance into wisdom (Hint: Your triggers are portals)
✔ Witness your growth (Compare Week 1 to Week 4 — you’ll be shocked)
“The worksheet isn’t homework. It’s a love letter from your higher self.”
When You “Fail” (Which You Will)
Some days, you’ll still curse at stoplights. Good.
Here’s the magic:
Your frustration isn’t failure — it’s fuel. The moment you notice you’re impatient, you’ve already begun the shift.
“Falling back” is part of the path. Each “relapse” reveals a deeper layer to heal.
💡 Try This:
After a “failed” moment, ask:
“What if this frustration is the exact doorway I need?”
Beyond the Road: Alchemizing Life’s “Delays”
Stoplights are training wheels. Soon, you’ll start seeing all pauses as sacred:
A delayed flight? “What’s the gift in this extra hour?”
A slow-moving line? “What if this is protecting me from something?”
Shareable Truth:
“Tag someone who needs to hear: Your ‘red light’ is a love note from the universe.”
The Self-Referential Reflection Worksheet is your companion to:
✔ Catch soul lessons in real-time
✔ Transform triggers into treasure
✔ Proof of your evolution (Compare Week 1 to Week 4 — you’ll feel the shift)
Remember: Every “delay” is a whisper: “You’re not late. You may be behind schedule, but you’re exactly on time.”