Happiness Begins Now By Doing What You Love

Listen up. Today you are on assignment. Think of three things that make you happy. Go do that.

Now, this instruction sounds simple and easy, and in essence it is. But because some of us are so disconnected with our true selves, we find it difficult to follow this very simple instruction. Another reason is that we think ‘the thing’ that makes me happy has to be big, huge. That it is connected to our career or some grand, artistic self-expression. No. It can be as simple as making a cup of tea and sitting in a hammock. Or going for a stroll in the park or the woods. Or playing with dogs or cats or any pets. If this is what makes you happy, go do it. Some other hurdles are: the thoughts that say, “I need to be productive. I need to do something to be useful. I need to do all those projects, first.” These thoughts keep you away from your true joy. Your true happiness. And you postpone and you postpone and it never happens. Of course, your inner-child continues to be deprived. And eventually, if affects your life in ways that will finally snap you into doing what makes you happy.

Also, the idea that happiness comes from doing things you love, being the way you like to be, is unfamiliar to some. The thought says, “I will be happy when I acquire stuff, or when I achieve this or that, or when I find my life-partner, or when I look or feel a certain way physically.” All that’s common among these thoughts is: happiness is postponed to some future time.

How about pulling those happiness strings back, rolling them back into the present. What if we began with the premise: “I am happy, right now.” Thoughts of gratitude help a great deal too. So now, the underlying vibration is: “I am happy.” Put a smile on your face and begin to deeply appreciate the gift that life is. It may be challenging to do this or it may be easy. But if it is challenging, then help yourself by doing it during “low-stress” times. This is your training period. The more training you get in during this time, the better your “performance” when the situation is more challenging. Then comes your test period. You are now to practice what you’ve been training for.

Help yourself to be happy by repeating, “I am grateful for my life. I am happy.” Begin to notice how you feel and when you feel happy. Note it down. And actively repeat those actions and situations that fill you up with joy. Gravitate towards that which you enjoy.
And then the assignment stated at the start of this chapter will be natural, simple and easy to follow. And if you already can do at least one thing that makes you happy, go do it now.

Thank you.

Gratitude Leads to Spiritual Compassion

Gratitude. Gratitude is a disguise. It is you showing the Universe that you recognize the beauty, the oneness of it all. You show gratitude to your friends, your family, you show gratitude to the Universe. The flow of life is much much more expansive than a single life-form, yet without each life-form it is far from whole. Each one is a vital, essential part; the Universe works through each with similar compassion.

Yes, the Universe is compassionate. Not in the human sense. In a spiritual sense. Spiritual compassion is about un-conditionality in the absolute sense. Spiritual compassion is not just for living things but also for everything else that exists. For processes and for principles and for characteristics. It is boundless. It sees through illusion.

And in a way, we all have the capacity to tap into that kind of spiritual compassion. We can enable ourselves, through practice, to let that flow through us. It develops and grows gradually for us. When we contemplate on spiritual compassion, the rational, conceptual elements seep through us and eventually, we get beyond those layers, through to the essence - the essence of spiritual compassion reveals itself to you. It blends and merges with you. You ‘get it’ on a deeper level, on an emotional, vibrational, spiritual level. It then begins to emerge in you as waves. Waves that are like sound, like water. And the ripples made in this water reach the far corners of all that exist and all that is beyond existences. It is sensory yet without sensations and it embodies the paradox. Seemingly conflicting things co-exist within it. It is symbolic of how life is.

And all of this is available for human beings to experience and comprehend on a deep level, in a deep way.

Thank you.

Heal Others By Asking For Forgiveness

Just on the flip side of forgiving others is asking for forgiveness.

And this is how you heal our world - ask for forgiveness. Admit that your words and actions may have caused others pain. And then ask them to forgive you. This applies to both your conscious and unconscious actions or words. Even actions or words not spoken can cause hurt. And you can heal that. You do that by saying, “I am sorry for my words and actions that hurt you. I am really sorry that I hurt you. Please forgive me.”

This is the trigger for peace in the other. They may or may not understand it. They may or may not be prepared to forgive. But now, they have been offered a chance to heal something they might not be able to do easily without your help. So, make that effort. Take that step. Help heal the hurt you may have caused someone consciously or unconsciously. Ask for forgiveness.

Thank you.

Forgiveness Creates Peace In Our World

Forgiveness. Forgiveness is a powerful way to peace. You may have heard it said that forgiveness is something we ‘do’ for ourselves and it has nothing to do with others. It is partly true. Yes, when we forgive someone, we feel the burden lift from us. The pain, hurt and anguish release their grip on us and we feel as if we are set free. We feel light. A sense of peace descends upon us. Or put another way, we ascend into a state of peace.

There is another element to forgiveness. The one who you forgive, feels it too. Yes, they feel the peace. Think of someone you asked for forgiveness and they truly forgave you. And you knew they had forgiven you because you felt it energetically. You felt light, loved and accepted by them. Can you recall such a moment? A moment when you felt a sense of peace when the other forgave you.

So, by practicing forgiveness, we are actually creating peace in the lives of others and in our world. This is one powerful way of creating peace. And it also applies to forgiving those who have already passed away. The past, present and future exist simultaneously and so when you forgive those who have crossed the rainbow bridge to the spirit world, they too shall find peace.

Forgiveness is a spiritual muscle which you can build with practice and in this way, contribute to peace and love in your life and on our planet as a result.
Thank you.

How In Losing I Found - What Truly Matters

I would like to share with you a recent aha-moment I had that has completely transformed how I view the things of my life. In the past few weeks, I have shared with you my reflections on letting go things, especially when they are gifts from your loved ones. Today, I will share with you about letting go things that were gifts that you happen to loose.

As you read about my story, think of some item that you lost, misplaced or somehow got destroyed or is no longer in your possession. Some item that you cherished so much, still due to various circumstances you do not have it anymore.

For me this item is a single earring. I received a beautiful pair of earrings from my husband on our wedding anniversary. It is lovely earring made out of silver into the shape of a gingko leaf. All elements of this gift are endearing to me, the choice of metal- silver, the occasion- wedding anniversary, the fact that it was locally hand-made in Asheville by Stuat Nye, the motif- gingko leaf which brings us fond memory of our late granny (my husband's fathers' mom) who loved gingko trees.

One fine late fall day, my husband and I went for a walk by the French Broad River. It was quite cold that day so I was warmly dressed and I had a warm wool scarf on and I had my lovely earrings on.  It was not long before I realized that one of my earrings had fallen off, perhaps entangled in my wool scarf, which has a track record of entangling with my jewelry! Both of us retraced our steps through the gravel, the bank of the river, and the spot near a tree where we sat and watched the flowing river. We looked everywhere possible. No earring!

At the time, I was feeling quite fine about the situation. Things get lost. It is just an item. All is well, I thought and we moved on with our day.

I got home and put the remaining earring from the pair next to our Buddha statue in the bedroom. In the next few weeks, I moved the remaining earring to various parts of the house, not knowing what to do with it. It is a lovely silver piece by itself, beautifully hand-crafted and it was a gift. How could I just get rid of it, I thought. But now after some time, every time I saw the earring, I was reminded about the one that was lost. It was as if I did not even see the earring that was in my hand. All I could think of was the lost earring and the fact that my wedding anniversary gift was now unusable. A certain low energy would come over me, as I went about my day, instead of the joyful feeling I had every time I wore my treasured gift. And I did not like the feeling I felt each time I saw the remaining earring.

So, I decided to share with a close friend about my ongoing challenge to deal with the lost-earring-syndrome. She listened and shared her ideas to help me resolve it. I also shared my feelings with my husband in another walk by the French Broad River. In the course of these two conversations with wise souls, I realized what truly mattered to me in this situation:

1. The remaining earring is a teacher; reminding me to notice what I still have, instead of what is lost. It helps me to be grateful for all that I have and all that I experience.

2. The earring pair represent the love my husband feels for me and is a symbolic gesture of that love, but it is not the love itself. In losing the earring, I have recognized the deeper dimensions of love I experience daily.

3. The lost earring is teaching me the precious lesson of letting go; of being at peace with how things are and being at peace with the changing flow of life, instead of holding tight to how things are, and instead of wanting things to stay the same.

4. The earring reminds me to let items and things be who and what  they are, as themselves, to stand for their own inherent beauty and craftsmanship. The pair of earrings reminds me to free things of the burden of being a placeholder for sentiments such as love and to fully open up to love that I express and the love that I receive.

5. The lost earring is a wise teacher who in its disappearance leaves behind all these precious lessons that help me experience life in deeper, richer, more meaningful ways than before.

6. And most importantly, the entire episode has helped me be happy and peaceful, regardless of the changing status of things and objects around me; a very useful thing indeed!

This earring episode was on the surface a minor experience. It was 'just' a small earring I had lost, no big deal, I consoled myself. But the losing of it pricked at something within me. When I looked carefully, I found precious gems that were hidden just below the surface. I am grateful for wise friends and teachers helped me along and who continuously are sharing freely their wisdom, understanding and compassion in my life. And I am grateful for the lovely earrings and the artist who made them with such love and care.

Now it is your turn! I invite you to look at your own experience of losing something, even your own so-called 'minor' incidents. Look a bit more closely, and see the glittering gifts they carry for you, just beyond the surface. It may be a turning point for your life in a way never imagined, bringing in greater peace and understanding towards yourself and greater compassion for others.

With love and blessings,

Sophia
 

Introspection

Take a moment to notice all that you have.
The things, experiences, love, blessings, beauty, community, nature, abundance, creativity, adventures, family, friends, wisdom that are endowed with right now.

Does it matter to help just one fish?

So the story takes place at a pond. There is a big man-made pond in the front yard of the house next to hers. This house is empty, on the market and owned by the bank. She often sits by this pond, observing the birds that come to visit it.

A big blue heron visits the pond daily, connecting to Kimberly in its own unique way. I myself got to catch a glimpse of the blue heron when I was visiting Kim one day. Kimberly, her dog and myself went for a walk near the pond when her dog got very interested in the fish. When we got closer, we saw that a large catfish was floating upside down on the surface at the edge.

Thinking that the fish was about to move on to heaven, both of us began saying prayers. Just then we saw a little twitch, filled with hope, we looked even more closely and noticed that the fish was in an awkward spot among the rocks. We quickly got a long-stemmed grass, gently nudged her and in a matter of seconds, the fish turned around and swam away, joining the rest of the fish family who by now had gathered around to help us energetically help the 'stuck' fish. They now all seemed euphoric at receiving their family member back and started to swim parallel to us as we walked on joyously further around the pond.

This incident reminded us that helping or being present with just one person or one being makes a difference to the whole universe. It certainly made a difference for this one fish, this one fish family, for Kimberly and myself. Even her dog seemed elated at how things were turning out.

The Challenge You Are Facing IS Useful

It is no fun experiencing a challenging moment. As human beings we find ourselves dealing with the various ways fear manifests in us and in the people we love, know and care for. But what if, your experience of ANY challenging moment is actually a fully-potent, loaded gift of miracles awaiting you to unravel it?

Think about it.

Think about a challenging situation you are going through right now. No one can judge the size or intensity this challenge has for you but you. So, big or small it is relative to your life experience, so let us not judge ourselves on this point. Just know that the challenge you are facing, although doesn't feel good right now, is actually full of wisdom. And you can learn a great deal about yourself, about the people you love, about life and about the divine grace through this very challenging experience. But how?

Well, it begins by seeing that what you are experiencing is a result of seeds you have sown. The source is no one but you. This is not about blaming, please. Nor is it about judging ourselves. It is about recognizing that either our past life actions or thoughts and actions in this very life are the starting point for what is happening now. The practical hows and whys may be different from one situation to another but one thing is clear: The situation is teaching you, reminding you and helping you recognize what seeds you sowed, and how you can choose different seeds to sow. And right here, it gets really interesting. If you want to learn more about mental seeds, read this book and read my review of the book here.

What is Being Triggered?

I had a conversation recently with a friend who shared a challenging situation she experienced. During a chat she was having with someone close, her feelings started to get hurt. She had the understanding of herself and of mental seeds already deeply within her. And she was able to stand back from the challenging situation and ask herself, what is really going on here. What is it within me that is being triggered?

This is a very powerful question to ask ourselves. If you read the post from two weeks ago, where I speak about propensity, you know that any situation we experience really is triggering some tendency within us. So, if you are facing something difficult, that difficult issue is a surface issue, and there is a gold mine underneath it. There is a deeper issue that is presenting itself to be actively resolved by you. And to bring awareness to that very fact, is a way to resolve it. Yeah, you do not even need to know the deeper issue exactly, but just recognizing that there could possibly be a deeper issue, can help to dissolve it. Add to that the recognition that there were "bad" mental seeds that are the cause of you now experiencing the "bad" fruits, and you are on an empowering path to free yourself from it.

What seeds can I sow now?
 

Knowing that the situation you are facing is a result of bad mental seeds you have sown, is great because you can now begin to sow good seeds. The great thing about "bad" seeds that give have given their fruit is that, once the fruit is experienced, it is over. It is time for you to plant new seeds. I hope the seed metaphor really gets it home for you, because the mental seeds are similar to the physical seeds we plant in the garden or the fields, except only much more potent and powerful.

They say that the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. And the second best time is now. Well, I say, the seeds you sow now are much more powerful because in the last 20 years, you have grown wiser and kinder and more compassionate, you know much more about good seeds and so your future is looking very very very bright.

So, please take some time to reflect on what you are experiencing right now, where it comes from and how can you change your future, starting with fresh, juicy seeds right now.

With Loving Regards and Blessings,
Sophia

Did you know that cultivating the seed of Focus is a spiritual practice and bringing in focus builds your mental stability and emotional harmony? If this intrigues you, then check out my online video e-course that I am sharing with you. If you have been wanting to get focused, this is the right time to jump in and help yourself on your path to peace.

Sophia Ojha Ensslin is the founder of Reflection Pond, Center for Meditation and Healing dedicated to helping people connect with their inner-self to live a fulfilling, joyful life using introspective media including guided visualization videos and CDs, the written word and in-person workshops.

Letter to Hank and Jill

Dear Hank and Jill,

Thank you for your beautiful newsletter that I read last night. I need to share this with you because reading your newsletter marks the end of any remaining concept within me of random coincidences, filling me up with a deep sense of gratitude and a sense of wonder about the ways of the Spirit. I am now a full, whole-hearted convert who feels in her that everything is divinely orchestrated and this is what I experience in my daily life.

Yesterday evening, I set out to put a creative idea into physical manifestation. I had a beautiful bamboo stick that our neighbor's kids brought us. This is what I would use to create a wall hanging with our (my husband Cristof + myself) mantra for living: to live simply, naturally, spiritually.

I wrote the three words with a pen in purple ink. I liked it. As I saw the white space around the words, I reached out for my color pencils and began drawing a flower and a leaf. Then, I wanted to draw a Sun and it quickly shifted to a heart and then a heart within it with a heart within it. When I was finished, I saw that while drawing the heart, the side of my hand had touched the purple ink of the mantra and created a series of blury dots on the white space of the sheet. As I looked closely, they seemed to outline a bird in flight - very clearly I knew it was a dove. I grabbed a color pencil and began drawing the bird, mostly motivated by the need to make the dots disappear(!). Then, I was directed to draw a flower appearing from her mouth. What emerged for me was a dove with a flower carrying a flower under the heart. I was happy and went about finishing the piece by connecting the paper to the bamboo. Next, I hung it on the wall of our living room. Satisfied and pleased, I went about the rest of my evening. (see photos attached)

Later in the evening, I opened up my email and read your words about the Sun and the bird emerging from it. My eyes became big, my heart smiled and a new sense of revelation came over me. Your story alone is astounding and then to read it just as I had this experience of the dove appearing on my sheet right under a heart which was to be a Sun at first, is .... simply beautiful. My first bold steps into creating word art, with the little "accident" of the ink spoils on the sheet, takes me into a recognition of how life is filled with miracles.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Hank and Jill. Thank you Angels and Spirit.

The Dance With Focus

The Dance With Focus: How To Say Yes To What's Most Important!

You have heard about focus and how that is important for success, right? Focus is something I have been cultivating over the last few years and there seems to be yet another level of focus that can emerge. Bringing focus into how I spend time, how I create and what projects I engage in, has brought me greater sense of freedom, peace and general well-being. I have found myself happier and healthier since 2010 when I began bringing in principles of focus into my life.

Yet, recently, the bold head of fascinating new areas have drawn my attention. I am getting more and more intrigued by the ancient vedic philosophy of yoga and meditation and the idea of an intensive teacher training course in yoga sounded enticing. And today, I found myself getting thrilled by the study of ayurvedic principles of health and healing. For some time, the traditional wisdom teaching of shamanism have galvanized my interest. There have been other ideas that seem glamorously exciting over the years. Even if I decide to embark on a deeper study on these subjects, and wonderful as they all are, these ideas are simply a test for my current focus and commitments. Do you find yourself in such a situation?

Focus, I am finding, is not about saying no to the ideas (requests, projects, trips, invitations) that come to you. It is about saying yes to those ideas (your dream, your rocks, your priorities) you have committed yourself to. A commitment that says, I shall go through with this all the way, letting nothing distract me or dissuade me from completion. It also means determine beforehand what the outcome will be and what you will put into it. So, now that I have made the commitment to my main focus, then how to maintain that focus and how to determine whether I say yes to new ideas? Simple. I have discovered some useful tips that I have implemented to stay focused on my priorities and I know that these are helpful to anyone who wants to do the same. Here are the seven stages of creating and maintaining focus:

First: Know what your values are

discovering what values and principles float your boat,
identifying these values can make decision-making easy as 1-2-3
 

Second, Know what your rocks are

getting clear about your priorities, your main focus and the area that is most important for you,
creating a life-blueprint and clear vision for your life + project
 

Third, Determine what the outcome looks like

clarifying what are the key elements that the end result need to have,
knowing what success look like,
clarifying markers so  you know that you have achieved your goals,
(no need to know about the hows!)
 

Fourth, What does my commitment looks like

creating an easy to follow plan that excites you,
clarifying time, effort, external assistance/partners, information you need for taking next action steps
 

Fifth, Simple practices to achieve your main focus

the Seinfeld inspired Daily Calendar,
the Jack Canfield's power-hour,
Michael Roach inspired Circle Day
 

Sixth, How to continuously say yes your main focus

using your values to keep you focused,
saying no that shows respect to others,
key questions to ask before taking on new projects
 

Seven, Doing weekly and monthly introspections to keep you on track

what questions to answer at the end of the week and month,
clarify goals and assess next steps,
how to recommit to your plan + goals,
how to review and celebrate success and accomplishments

These are in a nut-shell seven stages of focus that help you in staying focused and can be used for any specific area of your life or project that you are undertaking. If you like to go deeper into this topic, learn about early-bird registration here for an e-course I am launching in April. And I will also share with you my personal favorite, the eight stage:
 

Eight: A not-so-secret secret to success: letting your heart lead the way to your treasures
 

a guided visualization that I have created to help me follow my heart's true calling, and I will teach you how to do your own guided visualization that you can use anytime you need to listen to your heart.

There is a lot to share about each of these steps and if you are really wanting to bring in a new wave of focus, clarity and commitment to your life, I know you will find the ecourse on Focus hugely beneficial.
In all your endeavors, I am wishing you peace, harmony and prosperity.

Heart, Spirit and Angels are with you!
Love, Sophia

Receiving Gifts From The Heart

In the last two days, I sat with my sister on the shore looking at the vast ocean and the horizon beyond. I saw a little girl listening to a live music performance and dancing across the room with her arms wide as if flying in the sky. I spoke with a warm, generous and strong woman about a very important question to ask oneself at all times. And all of these were moments were I witnessed and experienced presence, one of the truest gifts from the heart.

Yesterday, at an art museum there was a live music performance where I got to see beauty pour out through self-expression. A little girl of about 6 years also named Sophia, danced like a free bird floating in the sky. With here arms spread across like the wings of a bird, she would swoop around the room in full speed and in beat with the music. In this movement, she was dynamic and she was free. With her enjoying the music and dancing to it from her heart, she showed all of us there how it is to give of what you have, freely and with joy in the heart.

Today, sitting on the beach with my sister was simple and beautiful. She is an amazing young woman of gentle cheerfulness and kindness in her eyes. She makes conversation easy and flowing. She allows me to be who I am. Speaking of how the Universe conspired for her day to become completely free on the last minute, she invited me to spend time together with her. In a similar way, the Universe conspired for me too to have an extra free day as well at the last minute and so going to the beach is what we did. We giggled about sea gulls walking sideways and running quickly from an approaching wave. We pondered what it is like to live right across from the beach. We shared ideas about what makes one a yogi. And we sat observing the ocean in silence. It was just silence. And it was beautiful. We were each having our own communication with the ocean separately, together. And a sea gull joined in this conversation. It first looked at us. It was pretty close to where we were sitting. It stood there; feet firmly planted in the sand. After a few moments of two of us looking at it and it looking at us, it sat down on the sand and now all three of us were looking at the ocean. All three of us; communicating with the ocean. Separately yet together. I found a new meaning and a new depth of communication with no words. The three of us were communicating to the ocean, to each other and to ourselves that all is well in this moment, and we are just being here now. And in this way we shared a gift from the heart - a gift of presence.

What we most need always comes to us exactly when we need it. I had a conversation today with a phenomenal woman who has shared her kindness and generosity with me my entire life. Today, she gave me one of my biggest kernels of truth. She reminded me about giving up anger. She said that getting angry at a situation or a person means hurting ourselves exponentially. She said, if we are angry at someone, we hurt ourselves first and then it hurts the other. Then it reflects off of them and comes back to us. And like this it hurts us twice. I shared with her how I often go for a walk if something is upsetting me or when I am under distress. Immediately she replied that walking away means running away. We need to be present with what happens not run away. We must be with it and ask ourselves, “Do I want to be the king (queen) of my mind or the slave?” We want to be king/queen. So we must be cautious and on alert constantly about what thoughts or seeds we water in our mind. Are these thoughts of love and compassion and patience? Or are these thoughts of anger, irritation, annoyance, frustration or complaints? Her talk reminded me of what I recently read in the book, The Unthethered Soul: “Everything is fine, as soon as I decide it is”. This way of thinking completely shifts the focus from what we think is wrong in the world or our life to focussing on the thought that everything is fine because I choose it to be so. This is shapeshifting of the highest order. We transform the world around us by the predetermined thoughts about the world we carry within us. I am filled with so much joy, possibilities and empowerment everytime I come across this kind of thinking in people I meet or in the books I read. This outstanding woman is my aunty who shared her wisdom with me and in doing so she truly shared from her heart. She gave me today a life-changing gift of her understanding of the principles of life and successful living that is a real turning point in my life.

There are so many ways we are given gifts from the heart. It is a continuous flow of blessings. I am grateful for experiencing them and for being able to receive them fully and for the opportunity to share them with you. Thank you for reading this blog today.

From the heart,

Sophia
 

Introspection:

What gifts from the heart have you received in the last few days or even years. Take a moment to reflect on that.

Disentangling From Placeholders

By the end of this post, you will be compelled to delete this email (if that is how you are reading this). You may even be compelled to finally let go of something that you are holding on to unhealthily. You will become ready to embrace the new. You will learn how to be fully present with your friends and family, yourself and with life.

So be very present now. Take a deep breath. And be here with me, reading this.

I have begun deleting my emails. For far too long, I would keep them in my inbox for reading them later, even after I have read them. It is much easier to delete a message from a service company or newsletter subscription. But email from a friend or a family member - very hard to delete. The email may simply say, "Let us go of lunch". Or it may be a letter filled with a deep heart connection. I am learning to let go.

What I am realizing is that that email is always a placeholder for the connection I have with someone, not the connection itself. The message it carries goes beyond the words, it goes deep into my heart. I realize that if I can be fully present with that heart connection, with that deep feeling that I feel with a person, I will not feel the need to "hoard" the emails.

This same thing applies to every object we have that are actually placeholders. A vase that a friend gave us is symbolic of their love and appreciation for us. If you are using it and loving it, keep it. But if is the fourth vase in your house and it is starting to make your life cluttered, it is time to be with the heart connection and let go of the symbol of it. Somebody will be very happy to receive it as a gift or a charity will receive it with open arms as a donation. Your friend who gave you that gift would never have wanted that gift to become an emotional shackle for you or to clutter up your living space. Their intention was to enrich and enhance your life. But whether or not it does it, is something you have to determine. And so allow yourself the permission to let go.

This brings me to another very important realization that I would like to share with you. Because I think this is another dimension of the idea of decluttering your home or studio or deleting emails in your inbox.

This is about being with people and yourself fully.

There are times when we are spending time with a friend or family member but we are lost in space. We are physically there but not fully there. It is only later that we realize our real loss. People who have lost a loved animal companion or a family member or friend know this all too deeply. 

In February 2013, my husband's band was going on a music tour through the Northeastern US. This would have been a great opportunity for me to go on a road trip and to visit my parents in NJ, about 12 hours drive from our home in NC. The night before my trip, I had this intense feeling that I needed to stay back. There was no rational reason to explain it. I had made my plans, the bags were packed, parents were preparing to welcome me and everything was in place. But my feet felt solidly rooted in North Carolina. I just knew it in my gut that I needed to stay. I just did not know why.

That entire February, I stayed with my beautiful, loving cat Sunflower. She and I shared special moments of connection. She would climb and then curl up on my back while I lay on the floor reading. Or she would explore curiously in the yard on a sunny afternoon while I did yoga on the porch. She would sleep on my chest at night and keep give me heart energy healing. It was really a very beautiful time.

Next month, Miss Sunflower became ill, went through surgery and then on April 15th, she crossed the rainbow bridge.

Looking back at those moments when I had this gnawing feeling in my stomach that I needed to stay back, I now understand that this was a very precious time to be with my dear friend. A time that would never come back. Even though I did not understand it and even though I had to disappoint some by cancelling my trip, I am so grateful that I followed what felt right because I dearly miss my lovely cat friend and I have those special moments in my heart to soothe my soul.

This story reminds me to be fully present with the people I am with. When I am at Bele Chere (annual summer festival in Asheville, NC), with a friend I am going to be fully there with her. Because she may move to North Dakota. When I am chatting with my neighbor kids, I am to be fully present, because they are going to grow up. When I am with my parents, I am fully there for them because they are growing older. When I am with the trees outside my yard, I am admiring its beauty because the next day I come out of my house and see that it was cut down by the utility workers. I deeply enjoy the food I am eating because soon it will be digested!

And then, I remind myself to bring this presence to myself. I am deeply present with my dreams, my emotions, my desires, because they are transitory. They bring gifts that I must catch or else like bubbles they fade away.

All this does is help me connect with life with my heart. It helps me enjoy each moment fully. It helps me to listen more closely. It helps me to be living life NOW. And I disentangle from placeholders.

EASY ACTION STEPS

So now, it is your turn. If you are reading this as an email, click delete at the end. That action will be your message to self that you are absorbing the message but letting go of the placeholders. Then go on and do three things today:

1. Look at one item that you have that you are emotionally attached to in a unhealthy way. You will know that it is unhealthy when you sense a slight doubt or hesitation about keeping that item. Then decide if it can still go into donation or as a gift or shall it be recycled. Remember if it is from a friend or it marks a special occasion, that connection is already in your heart. No item can replace what you feel inside.

2. The next opportunity you have to be with a person, be fully present. Drop your digital toys. Drop your to-do lists. Just listen to that person fully. That is all they deeply want. You may not even need to say anything heroic. Just show them your presence. Easy way to do that is to breathe deeply while your ears are listening to the person speak. Breathing consciously will help you to be present fully.

3. Today, fully allow whatever you feel and experience to be just the way it is. Drop the need to resist it, or question it, or analyze it. Just allow whatever you feel to be like that. Like a mother embracing a child who is crying, not asking why or how come, just soothing and allowing the space for the child to be with their crying. Do that to yourself. It may be any emotion like frustration, irritation, doubt, overwhelm, anxiety, anger, resentment, impatience, jealousy, unworthiness and so on. Just be with it. Shine your loving light and be fully present, again, with conscious breathing.

Do this and let me know how it works for you.

Blessings,

Sophia
 

Introspection

The first thing that you feel is cluttering : LET GO

The first person you meet : BE WITH THEM FULLY

The first emotion that arises : BE WITH IT FULLY

How to Decode the Language of Our Inner Self

When there was an important task or project that you wanted to do, how often have you heard yourself say:

I do not have time for that.
I don't have enough time.
I am too busy right now.

Even when you knew that it was very important for you to do that task, your inner dialogue consisted of these statements:

I will do it another time.
When the time is right.
Later, not now.

And did that "later" moment in time ever come?

Recently, I found myself say, "Let me just do this, before I begin this." I also said, "Ah, that takes too much time. I rather wait until later, when I have more time." Rationally, this statement makes no sense. If I do not have time now, how will I ever have time later. Either I have time or I don't. But it makes complete emotional sense. The statement basically says, "I do not have the emotional energy to invest myself into this, right now. May be at another time, I will have the energy". It is not about time. It is about energy.

So what I am finding out is that anytime I am not wanting to do something right away, it is not so much about how much time I have, but how much emotional stamina or strength I feel I have in order to handle that particular task.

This is a very useful realization because now I know that any reference to not having enough time, at least for me, is a code that tells me that I do not feel confident that I can fully take care of a particular task to my satisfaction in that moment. This means also that my internal system is alerting me to get resources to help me before I can embark on that project. Too often we don't listen to that code message and quickly let that message flow over us and we "move on" to doing something else that may be emotionally "easier" in the moment. But this is very dangerous. Because by moving on, we really are not. We are neglecting, ignoring and hiding from what needs our immediate attention. By saying, "later", we are postponing our own sense of joy and peace. And if we learn to understand the code language and how to learn from and how to use it, we can actually bite into whatever we have in front of us, instead of superficially "moving on" to something else.

STEP 1. See What's Really Happening

So the first thing, like anything we do in our personal growth, is to become aware of what's happening. Just noticing it helps it to move from a nebulous, invisible phenomenon to something we can describe and put a finger on. For example, if there is a project that you want to start but are not able to begin, notice that. Notice if you are making excuses and what messages they contain. And whatever statement we are saying to ourselves, question it. For example, let us say this statement comes up: I will start that tomorrow. See if you can very gently ask yourself the question why. Why will I start tomorrow not today? And then let the answer come. I am too afraid of beginning today because...

I do not want to spend the whole day and still not be able to complete it
I do not want to start something which I am not sure how it will look when done
I do not know if I am fully prepared for it and what if I do not know all the answers
I am feeling overwhelmed by the complexity of it
I am feeling guilty that I have not yet begun it already and I should have 10 min, 10 hours, 10 days, 10 years ago
I am afraid that I will be successful and then I don't know what will I do
I am not sure if I can be consistent with it if I start now
I don't trust myself and I am afraid I will slack off or lose interest in it half way and then it will be incomplete

Basically, the code "I will start tomorrow or later" or "I don't have time now" is a message from your internal being that is saying this:

PLEASE HELP ME. PLEASE HELP ME RESOLVE THIS PROBLEM. I ABSOLUTELY WANT TO DO THIS BUT I CANNOT BEGIN WITHOUT SOME EXTERNAL HELP. PLEASE GET INSPIRATION FROM SOMETHING OR SOMEONE. PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP SO I CAN EMBARK ON THIS TASK WHICH I SO WANT TO DO BUT AM NOT ABLE TO. PLEASE HELP ME NOW.

STEP 2: Get the Help Your Inner Self is Asking for

So once you decode the message go on to Step 2 which is to get the help. Talk to a friend and just describe what you are feeling and experiencing. Then ask them to give you some advice on how to go on. It is always easier to hear such advice from another person when your inner self is asking for help. Then listen carefully to that advice. The other person will know exactly what to say to you because they will be divinely guided. Your guides are always helping you and when you ask for help, they immediately help you directly or through other people and circumstances. Another suggestion is to go for a walk, or take a bath or cook a delicious meal, or do something that will help you to relax.

STEP 3: Take Action

Step 3 is to implement the first piece of advice from the friend that resonates with you and you feel good about it. It may not be easy but you will feel that it is the right thing to do. And then do it. If you have gone for a walk, you will come back ready to embark the task you had hesitated or postponed before. You will be able to take action and that is what Step 3 is about.

You will find that already after Step 1, you feel much better. You are able to put a handle on the problem. After Step 2, once you have shared your situation with a good friend or journaled about it or gone for a walk, you may find that things seem much more possible. You feel lighter. And all of this prepares you for Step 3 which is to go ahead and do the thing that you most wanted to do but could not find time for.

There may be other messages hidden in these outward excuses. Excuses are our friend. They are codes and they give us hints to our internal emotional landscape. Let us not just used them superficially. Let us look deeper. There will be something underneath there waiting for us to be found. Learn to decode these code phrases and help yourself to move through obstacles. And of course please do share what you have learned from your own codes that others can learn and benefit from. Every little bit helps the puzzle. 

Here is to learning to understand the language of codes from our inner self. And to decoding them so we can literally move on.

Blessings,

Sophia

Introspection

Do the first step of decoding. Ask the question why to any surface statements/excuses that come up. Let that be your starting point. Ask why as many times you need to get to the core of the issue. Your inner self is waiting for you to probe so it can give you the answers.

Playing From The Heart

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Recently, I had a conversation with a friend in the musical community who talked about playing from the heart. And I was intrigued. I was intrigued by what musicians have tapped into. When someone plays an instrument or sings or composes a piece, they are connecting with the life force, with the very essence of life that exists. They tap into it and through their heart, allow it to flow. Their hearts become the instrument both physically and energetically that connect them to their internal music. They become open to listening to it, removing judgments that come from the mind and then they let it happen.

This feels so fundamental to being human. Artists of any kind seem to know about it: writers, painters, sculptors. But the wonderful thing about tapping into this inner-flow is that it is not limited to artists. Scientists, architects and engineers have connected to it. So have teachers and philosophers and chefs. Leaders and managers have tapped into it. And so have mothers and fathers. It is available to everyone in every moment, at any time of night or day!

Children, we shall all agree, make it seem so easy; they are completely tapped in.

What is it that they are tapped into? Like holding a palmful of sand, I will attempt on writing about something so intangible yet so palpable. Children are tapped into a never-ending supply of ideas, inspiration and a flow that is beyond limits. They seem to step-aside and let "it" speak, let "it" express through them. Isn't that why when we look into a child's eye, we see purity, beauty, grace and deep wisdom and so much more that is indescribable? When we look into a baby's eyes there is curiosity and there is love, isn't it? When they have an idea, they do it. When they desire something, they ask for it. When they do not like something, they express it. And children seem to know intuitively, (because it seems no one needs to teach them this), to accept others as they are. They are not judging anybody for who they are, on the contrary, with ease they accept people and how they are being. This is a direct channeling of divine love that does not judge, that does not have opinions. They are playing from the heart.

I am asking myself, "how can I play from the heart?". The first answer that comes to me is to trust the voice that I hear coming from the heart. Allow it time. Allow myself all the time that I need to let it flow. There is no hurry for anything to happen. Moment by moment, I am learning to allow life to be just as it is. To observe the paradox of events. To realize that there is no assessment needed. All that is required is to be a witness to the flow that is happening through me and through others around me. In loving what is, as Byron Katie says, we are at peace.

I am grateful for reconnecting with "playing from the heart". Thank you so much for reading this post today.

To watch how playing from the heart feels and looks like, I invite you to watch some beautiful souls perform Native American Music for you. I can promise you that it is a heart-warming experience that lifts your spirits so high, you feel like you are flying with the angels.

Click the links to watch any of these LIVE + FREE shows.
http://vaughnlive.tv/jimtzu Sat 8:30 pm  EST
http://vaughnlive.tv/tahoelarry Sun 7:00 pm EST
http://vaughnlive.tv/raedent Sun 8:00 pm EST

With all my heart,
Sophia

Sophia Ojha Ensslin is the founder of Reflection Pond, Center for Meditation and Healing dedicated to helping people connect with their inner-self to live a fulfilling, joyful life using introspective media including music, films and books, e-courses and training workshops.

Share What You Have

I am humbled by the response to last week's blog post about simple awareness for embracing ourselves. Thank you for taking a moment to write me your personal reflection on that thought.

This week, we continue the theme of acceptance by extending it to sharing wholeheartedly the gifts of your heart and simply Share What You Have. We must begin now. We must begin where we are and with what we have. This means, no more waiting for the right mood, the perfect husband/wife, the x amount of dollars, or waiting when this is done and that is done. Say yes to now. Embrace where you are, who you are, what you got and begin sharing. I will keep the blog short and let you watch the video.

Please let me know which part of this message resonates with you. Do you have any uplifting thoughts on this? Please write me an email or do it publicly by commenting on the blog post. Thank You.

With Gratitude, Hugs and Blessings,
Sophia
 

Sophia Ojha Ensslin is the founder of Reflection Pond, Center for Meditation and Healing dedicated to helping people connect with their inner-self to live a fulfilling, joyful life using introspective media including music, films and books, e-courses and training workshops.

How To Use Simple Awareness To Embrace Who You Are

Last week's newsletter contained a video about remembering that we are beautiful and awesome and therefore, we can bring awareness to how we talk about ourselves to ourselves in our mind. In this way, we can learn to be kind in our thoughts towards ourselves as a starting point of being kind to others.

This week, I want to remind you to be yourself. I am learning that more and more myself. The YOU that is inside of your body, is vast and limitless. It is filled with infinite potential. You have within you the power to change yourself, to uplift others and to do good in this world. And you have been doing this all along. Remember that within you resides divinity. There are unlimited number of reasons to love and embrace yourself - and to respect who you are. It has to begin with you respecting yourself, loving yourself. And not just the nice parts of you but ALL of who you are, even the part that is judging a part of you as 'not nice'!

Without realizing it at times, we apologize for being who we are. There is no need to apologize for being you. Yes, we can apologize for causing hurt and pain with our thoughts, words and actions. We can apologize for neglecting a certain aspect in our relationship with another being. We can take responsibility for being unaware or insensitive or just too caught up in our own thing to have had the energy or sensibility to help another.

Yet, you do not have to apologize for being who you are. You are a beautiful gem on this planet, an angel helping and blessing everyone with you sheer presence. There is no one on this planet just like you. No one. And there never was and there never will be. You are a gift.

Begin to embrace that thought more. So that you can begin to love and respect yourself more deeply. So that you can begin to be kinder to yourself. This, you need to do, for all of us.

Allow your true, quirky self to emerge. Let no one make you feel small or insignificant. Because each one of us makes a difference with each thought, each word spoken and every action taken. If no one laughs at your jokes, you laugh. If no one admires your art, you admire it. If no one shares your thoughts, that's fine. Just let go of judging yourself. How? Simply notice when you do judge yourself. Or when you judge others, know that it is only because you are judging yourself in some way. It is not complicated. It is simple. Just become aware.

Where there is awareness, you shed light. And with light, you brighten up all that is. By becoming aware - simply becoming aware -  amazing things happen. You see reality in a new way. You are no longer in a mist, in a fog. You enter a new kind of clarity - clarity about how things are. And with this clarity, it becomes easier to be kinder. It is easier to embrace things as they are. It is easier then also to be patient and accepting of life. You are no longer fighting with life. You are no longer resisting. You are letting things be. And then you are feeling lighter, at ease, relaxed and joyful. You open up to allow joy to blossom within you. You love yourself. You love life. And your love is now felt by others.

This is what I am learning to do each day. And I invite you to do that too. This is one way we can bring peace in our world. Let us be at peace with ourselves. Be kind and loving and respectful to yourself, beginning with simple awareness of how you think of your own self.

With Love and Blessings,
Sophia

PS: There is a new short video called: How to Be Confident When Meeting The Parents, for all of you who are anticipating meeting the parents of your beloved for the first time (or at anytime) and are wanting to be a bit more confident. Enjoy!

Goodbye Fat Talk. Welcome Divine Being. How to Speak Well of Ourselves.

A very happy new year to you! I thank you for being part of Reflection Pond in 2013 and for your kindness and generosity. In December 2013, I mentioned a series of videos that I was preparing for you. As we begin our beautiful adventure in 2014, I am happy to present to you the first video. It is designed specifically for the women reading this, but it is useful to all the men who have wonderful women in their lives, be it wives, friends, daughters, cousins, colleagues and just women in our society. Know that what this video talks about has affected and is affecting women and is for helping women think kindly of themselves. As a man, if you can help by genuinely appreciating the beauty and intellect and grace of the women in your lives, you will be making a big huge difference in our world.
 

So do please watch this short video and please tell me what you think.

With love and respect,
Sophia

How You Can Complete the Year and Welcome the New One With An End of the Year Introspection

As we conclude the year and welcome 2014, here is a suggestion for an end of the year introspection.

1. With your partner or friend, look back at 2013 and recount all that you are grateful for. What challenges you overcame, what blessings you received, what new things you learned, what joys you felt and so on.

2. Then look forward to 2014 and ask yourselves: "What is the one job or project that I would really like to get done in my life right now? When would I like to finish it by? What exactly will it look like if I am really successful at this task?"*

You can spend as little as 15 minutes or go in great detail for three days, adding meditation and yoga and other reflective exercises. Regardless of the time, it is worth the effort to close the year and begin anew.

Peace and Blessings,
Sophia

*This reflective question is from the book, Karmic Management by Geshe Michael Roach, Lama Christie McNally and Michael Gordon.

Find A Way To Relax During Busy Times

With the year coming to an end, projects coming to and end and the flurry of activity around the holiday season, it seems that everyone is busy doing something during December. There is a lot to do. To be able to accomplish all that you want to do and keep your physical and mental well-being, remember to actively relax. Actively? By that I mean, put relaxation into your schedule. A few minutes of closing your eyes and breathing consciously can do wonders for you. And then see how you magically whisk through all your to-dos. Watch this video I made a video to help you relax.

Take a moment to breathe deeply. Relax.

With Gratitude, Love and Blessings,
Sophia

http://www.reflectionpond.com Take a break and relax during the busy holiday season with this guided meditation.

How The Notion of Perfection Can Help You Manifest Your Dreams

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Reflect on this for a moment:

There is a woman, named Savannah who loves to cook for people. She enjoys the process of cooking. She loves to see people smile when they taste her food. She also knows that she is still learning her craft. Sometimes the meals are not perfect as she had envisioned to make them. One day, she gets an opportunity to feed a hundred people as part of an effort to feed people who are in need of a hot meal. Savannah can and has previously made great meals for up to 20 people at a time but never for a hundred. This makes her nervous. She does not know how much time she would need to get such a large quantity of carrots and broccoli in the soup cooked to the right tenderness or what the right amount of spicing would be needed. She thinks that because of her inexperience, something may be off and her soup may not turn out to be perfect. Because she does not know if it will turn out to the highest standard she can aspire to, she hesitates and even considers dropping out of the project. She knows what a good soup should taste like and anything less is just unacceptable.

She goes ahead anyways, thinking,"ah, the people out there do not know her personally so will not judge me". With some help in the kitchen, she manages to prepare the meal. When done, she tastes the food realizing that it is edible yet slightly saltier than her ideal. Alas, it is not the perfect soup she wanted to serve! But it is too late. The people are already waiting for their meals. Savannah watched from the kitchen door as they are being served. There is utter silence. Everyone is eating. She dares to come out and watch on. Then she approaches a man who has tears running down his face as he is eats. She asks him, "Are you alright, my friend?" The man replied, "Yes, yes." He pauses and then says, "I have not eaten a warm meal in five days. And this is the most perfect soup I have tasted in my life". His tears were out of joy and gratitude.

Touched, Savannah goes back into the kitchen, closes her eyes and lets out a sigh. She knew that today she experienced a pivotal moment of her life. Thinking back, she was grateful that she took on the 100 meal project although she was so close to dropping out. She realized that it is not about perfection and it is not about being evaluated as being perfect. It is about giving her best. It is about doing what she can do because she realized that that is where perfection lies. And that is all that was needed.

~ ~ ~

Last week, we discussed how an unfinished project or a project waiting to begun takes up our precious psychic energy. And that the remedy for that is to consciously decide which projects we would drop off our list and which one we really commit to. Next, we need to take the first step and then daily take one single action toward the completion of that project.

But, I know how challenging it can be to take that first step. There are so many mental and emotional challenges that we need to surmount before we can even take the first step. One of them is the internalized pressure of perfection. We may say to ourselves, like Savannah, "I know what a good job looks like and if I cannot accomplish that, why even start." This becomes such a huge hurdle that many magnificent dreams and solutions to our problems remain in our heads or on paper as ideas, never to see the daylight in physical reality.

But it does not have to be that way. And there is a way out.

Give Yourself A Break
If you are dealing with this sort of mental thoughts, first of all, give yourself a break. You are not alone in this. Everyone has at some point thought this way because these thoughts are not your original thoughts! They come to you from the collective consciousness. So get over beating yourself up for even having these thoughts and know that you are human!

Perfection Is About Just Doing It &
Knowing That Things Can Always Be Better
Second, we need to redefine what perfection really means. Consider this. The first time you do anything, it is very rare that you do it to the highest version ever possible. Although beginner's luck does help us with new projects. But, just look at a baby taking her first steps. She falls. She stumbles. She is just learning about balance. Her first step is perfect in the sense that the perfection comes from the fact that the baby actually took her first step. And we realize, that it not about how well she can walk, or how long she can walk or how resilient she is in her walk. It in that moment, it is not even about her picking herself up again. The perfection comes from the magic and beauty of her taking that very first step. Would it not be ludicrous if the baby said, "Mama, my first step is not going to be as perfect as I envision it. I know I can do much better than stumble and wobble. I know I have got it in me to walk with regal strides and in a graceful gait- just like a queen. But right now, I cannot do that; no, not during my first step. So, I am not going to bother taking that first step. It won't even come close to fulfilling my high standards! Let's just drop it, okay?". I do not know of a single baby who would say that, if they are speaking in full sentences already by their first year, that is! ;-)

The Only Way To Move Forward
And third, the reason you need to take that first step is because that is the only way you can move forward. Yes, you can have high standards for yourself. Reach for the stars, dream big. I am a big proponent of the big vision. But no, your first step does not have to meet your high standards or your big goals - not yet. What you do need to do is to begin; however small the step, however clumsy that step may be. Just begin.

One Little Action Towards A Great Dream Realized
So if your dream is to own a cafe one day, your first step could be learning about the coffee bean or to watch a video of a barista making great coffee, or you an talk to a cafe-owner in your neighborhood about how she got started. If your dream is to sell-out big shows as a musician, pick up the pen and start scribbling a song idea, or play around on an instrument or go watch a music show. If your big dream is to create a sanctuary for to-be-euthanized and homeless dogs and cats and educate people about a healthy life of these companion animals, connect with someone who also has that dream. In this case, just write to me as that is my big dream. And as I mentioned in the last blog, there will be invisible and visible help coming to you. We live in a miraculous world and you are being assisted in every moment. In this way, your big dream will become a reality.

You Have Done This Before
Fourth, take a moment to reflect. Think back to a time when you just went for a goal, not really knowing how you would accomplish it but it happened. People and opportunities and inspiration came your way. All you did was to make up your mind and help arrived as if from nowhere. Remember that story, and write to me how that was. You will realize that you have done all these steps before and you can do it again.

Remember there is perfection in you making the effort. So what is your next step going to be?

To perfection in all - as it is,

With Gratitude, Love and Blessings,
Sophia

Thank You For Being YOU

You are a Blessing!
A simple reminder today that I am grateful for you. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for sharing your smile with the world. Thank you for spreading your beauty and grace with all whom you connect with. May you, your friends, your family, wherever you are, continue to be blessed and loved.

With a heart of gratitude,
Sophia