The 3 Stages of Spiritual Stuckness (And How to Get Unstuck)

How a rotting mattress and an unsustainable paycheck taught me where our reality is truly created — and it’s not where you think.

Photo by Tomas Tuma on Unsplash

First published on Medium

Let’s get straight to the heart of the matter.

The path of true creation — the kind that brings peace instead of burnout, and flow instead of force — is often misunderstood.

And that’s why so many people get stuck trying to “manifest” their way to a better life.

But my guess is…

You’re someone who senses a deeper power within you, but your external reality hasn’t quite caught up yet.

If that’s true, you’re likely facing one of three core challenges I know all too well.

See which one resonates with where you are right now.

Challenge 1: You see problems as “out there,” and it makes you feel powerless.

A difficult client. A slow-paying customer. A neighbor who leaves a rotting mattress on their lawn for five weeks (true story here).

Your frustration grows because you feel at the mercy of their actions. You’re stuck in a story you hate, and you’ve cast everyone else as the villain.

What you need isn’t a better strategy for dealing with them.
You need to realize you are the one holding the mirror.

Challenge 2: You’re “manifesting,” but it feels like a struggle.

You’ve visualized. You’ve affirmed. Maybe you even manifested a big win, like the $22,000 month I once had.

But the how was a nightmare. It came with burnout, stress, and anxiety. You got the what, but you lost your peace. You were still the same person, hustling for your worth.

This happens because you’re trying to change the reflection without changing the face in the mirror.

What you need is to shift who you are being instead of staying busy doing.

Challenge 3: You understand the concept, but you lack the “how.”

You’ve heard “change your identity,” but it feels abstract. How do you actually do that? How do you move from knowing you should be the person who already has what you want naturally, to truly feeling it as your reality?

What’s missing isn’t the theory.

It’s a simple, daily practice that bridges the gap between your future self and your present moment.

Wherever you see yourself, the solution is the same: Stop trying to rearrange the furniture in a burning house.

The liberating truth I discovered — first with a mattress, and then with my income — is from Neville Goddard’s book Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book):

“Man is actually the arbiter of his own fate.”

This means the cause is never truly “out there.” It’s within. Your concept of yourself determines the world you live in.

When I cleaned my internal clutter, the external mattress disappeared. When I shifted my identity from a hustler to someone in harmonious financial flow, my business transformed.

The simplest way to start this shift? Anchor yourself in a new state for just five minutes a day.

Sit. Close your eyes. Choose one feeling: love, peace, or joy. Generate the sensation in your chest. Let it warm you. For those five minutes, you are that peace. You are not wanting it; you are it.

This is how you make the shift inwardly. And the mirror of life is bound to conform.

If you’re ready to move from theory to practice alongside a community of like-minded people, we created our Skool community, Shift Your Identity, for you.

It’s where we support each other in doing this real, daily work.

→ Join the FREE Shift Your Identity (SYI) Community Here

In alignment,
Sophia (& Cristof)

The Sacred Pause

How slowing down became my greatest source of peace

Photo by Frames For Your Heart on Unsplash

First published on Medium

It’s funny how easy it is to get caught up in speed — in the endless doing, the striving, the measuring. For years, my days started and ended with screens. Twelve hours of staring at glowing rectangles, chasing the next deal, the next trade, the next client project.

At some point, I wasn’t working anymore — I was spinning. I was the kind of tired that no nap can fix. That was my normal.

Then life decided to make me stop.

The Breaking Point

It wasn’t just burnout that broke me open — it was a hurricane. Hurricane Helene hit our region hard, and we had to evacuate. I remember packing up the essentials, stepping outside, and feeling this eerie stillness in the air. Nature had paused everything.

That week, the storm outside mirrored the one I had been ignoring inside.

When the power went out, when the water stopped flowing, when the internet went silent, something else came online — a whisper inside me asking, 

“What if I stopped?” 

Not just physically, but deeply.

I had spent years as an investment adviser and software engineer — always chasing, optimizing, producing. My identity was tied to performance. But in that pause, I started to see how empty that chase had become.

The First Real Pause

The first real pause came in a moment of temptation during the evacuation— a friend offered me an exciting trading project, something that would’ve reignited the hustle. My reflex said yes, the people-pleaser in me said yes, but my heart whispered no.

For the first time, I listened to the whisper.

Saying no to that project wasn’t about rejecting opportunity — it was about reclaiming sanity. It was the first sacred pause I ever took.

I didn’t have a name for it then, but it was the beginning of a new rhythm — one built around meditation, reflection, and daily stillness.

Let’s Pause Together

Before I tell you the rest of the story, let’s experience what I’m talking about.

Let’s take a few minutes to pause — not as an escape, but as a return.

I invite you to gently close your eyes if you feel comfortable. Take a deep breath in… and let it go.

Feel the weight of your body on the chair. Feel the floor beneath your feet.

Now, bring to mind something or someone that naturally opens your heart. It could be a loved one, a pet, a memory, or even a sense of divine presence.

As you breathe, imagine sending a gentle wish toward them:

“May you be happy. May you be peaceful. May you be joyful. May you be free from suffering.”

Take a few breaths in that space. Feel how your heart softens, how your breath steadies.

Now, let that same kindness turn inward.

May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be joyful. May I be free from suffering.

Just notice the shift.

That’s the power of a pause — it’s not about stopping time; it’s about touching eternity within time.

Take one more breath.

And when you’re ready, open your eyes.

What I Discovered in That Pause

When I first started practicing this — sometimes for just three minutes a day — my life began to reorganize itself.

I realized something profound:

What’s holy to me isn’t the output. It’s the process.

It’s the morning hours when I write, heal, and create. It’s journaling through the old stories that kept me small. It’s the moments when I listen — not to the world, but to that still, quiet voice inside.

That’s where sacredness lives.

And the more I paid attention, the more I noticed something beautiful — peace doesn’t come from controlling life; it comes from being fully present for it. It comes from uncovering habituated, conditioned, non-reflected ways of being, layer by layer.

As I often remind myself, prayer is speaking to God, and meditation is listening. Why not do both? Creation, after all, is a conversation — a two-way flow.

The Antidote to Hustle

Rainn Wilson once asked in his book Soul Boom (affiliate link):

“What is holy to you personally? […] Where does sacredness live? […] What should be sacred to all of humanity?”

That question hit me like truth does — quietly but deeply.

I started asking myself every morning, 

“What is one thing that is sacred to me today?”

That one question rewired my life. It turned productivity into purpose. It made me realize that the real wealth I was seeking wasn’t financial — it was peace of mind.

Peace became my portfolio.

When I built my business around that truth, everything changed. I didn’t work less — I worked better. My energy felt sustainable. My creativity deepened. I couldn’t wait to start working each morning; I was serving from overflow.

Let’s Practice the Sacred Pause

Let’s take another few minutes together to feel what it means to make something sacred.

If you’d like, close your eyes again.

Take a few deep breaths.

Now bring to mind your day — everything that’s on your mind, all that’s waiting for you when you leave here.

And now ask yourself, quietly,

What is one thing that is sacred to me today?

Don’t overthink it. Just let the first thing that arises — a person, a value, a moment, a feeling — come forward.

Hold it in your awareness.

Breathe into it.

This is your sacred center. The place from which your best self acts and speaks.

Now, with one more deep breath, commit — even if silently — to honoring this sacred thing in some small way today.

Take your time. And when you’re ready, slowly open your eyes.

What We’ve Lost — and What We Can Reclaim

When we lose touch with what is sacred to us, we lose our peace. And peace, I’ve come to see, is the most precious wealth in the world.

Without it, we cannot serve others or ourselves in our highest way. We just spin — busy, exhausted, half-alive.

But when we pause, when we listen, everything changes. Even burnout becomes a teacher. Even emotional upheaval turns into a source of enlightenment. Even a hurricane becomes holy.

Because in the sunlight of awareness, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, everything becomes sacred.

A New Kind of Wealth

So here’s the paradox: When we stop chasing success and start cultivating stillness, success begins to find us — not as an achievement, but as alignment.

I have been building my business around that truth. I’ve been building my peace around that truth. Now I get to share it with you.

And the invitation I’ll leave you with is simple:

Pause daily. Reflect weekly. Retreat deeply.

And each time you do, ask yourself — What’s sacred to me today?

You’ll find that question alone is enough to change everything.

Closing Invitation

If this message resonated with you, I’d love for you to stay connected.

We’re building an online community called Shift Your Identity — a space for people who want to live, work, and create from peace, not pressure; who want to build a conscious life, not one shaped by adopted expectations.

You can join us online, continue exploring these and other practices, and share your reflections.

But most importantly — take this pause into your life. Protect it. Nurture it.

Because peace isn’t a luxury. It’s our birthright.

And the pause is how we come home to it.

With love and alignment,
Cristof Ensslin