A Mattress, $22k, and A Liberating Truth

Why Manifesting Often Fails — And the Identity Shift That Makes It Work

Photo by Sergey Shmidt on Unsplash

First published on Medium

For five weeks, my neighbor’s old mattress festered on her lawn.

It became the backdrop to my life. I’d see it while taking out the trash — a sodden, decaying monument to… something.

Irresponsibility? Laziness?

I (Sophia) didn’t know, but I knew I was judging it. I’d feel a pang of irritation when I saw the neighborhood kids jumping on it, a potential health hazard. I’d sigh, thinking, “Why doesn’t she just deal with it?”

My frustration grew with each passing day. I was stuck in a story I hated, and I’d cast my neighbor as the villain.

Then, while immersed in Neville Goddard’s influential book The Power of Awareness (affiliate link to book), a sentence stopped me cold:

“This great discovery of cause reveals that good or bad, man is actually the arbiter of his own fate… and that it is his concept of himself that determines the world in which he lives.”

Arbiter of my own fate. The words landed not as an empowering affirmation, but as a confronting truth. If I was the arbiter, the cause, then this mattress wasn’t just happening to me. My reality was mirroring something back to me.

I looked around my own apartment. And there it was: in the cupboard, four dusty paper bags filled with old college memorabilia and clutter from three moves ago. Ignored. Unattended. A mess I was refusing to deal with.

The parallel was undeniable. The neighbor’s junk outside my apartment was a perfect reflection of my clutter inside.

The old me would have either not done anything and continued to brood in her anger or, eventually, marched over and asked her, with barely concealed annoyance, to handle her mess.

That would be trying to rearrange the furniture in a burning house.

The new me, the one tentatively embracing this “arbiter” idea, knew the only door was inside my own mind.

I didn’t just clean the clutter. I became a person who lives in a clean, orderly, and attended-to environment. I handled my bags. I sorted, I discarded, I created space. I wasn’t just cleaning; I was embodying a new concept of myself: I am the kind of person who resolves things promptly.

The next day, the mattress was gone.

Now, you might call it a coincidence. But after five weeks of stagnation, the timing was… interesting. It was my first tiny, tangible proof. The universe wasn’t punishing me; it was showing me how the mechanism works.

This lesson became crucial when I started applying these principles to my business. I learned to manifest money, but I hadn’t yet learned to manifest a state of being.

I once visualized and “manifested” a $22,000 month. And it worked! The money came in. But the how was a nightmare. The projects attached to that income required three grueling months of non-stop, high-stress work to deliver. I got the number, but I lost my peace. I got the what, but not the who. I was still the identity of someone who hustles and struggles for abundance.

I was using the law of assumption to change the scenery, but I was still the same anxious character in the play.

Neville Goddard and the Buddha, in their own languages, point to the same solution:

Stop trying to change the reflection. Change the face in the mirror.

This is the shift from manifestation to Identity Shifting.

It’s the difference between:

• Manifesting a specific income and becoming the person who is in harmonious financial flow.

• Visualizing a perfect partner and embodying the state of being already loved and understood.

• Affirming “I am abundant” and feeling the natural, quiet joy of the wish fulfilled.

This is where Neville’s “State of the Wish Fulfilled” meets the Buddha’s Brahmaviharas — the divine abodes of loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. These aren’t complicated rituals. They are mind-states. When you dwell in the feeling of love, compassion, or peace, you are, by definition, not dwelling in lack, fear, or frustration. The light naturally drowns out the darkness.

You are assuming a new identity.

The One Practice to Start With Today

This might sound like a massive undertaking. It’s not. It’s a practice, like learning the piano. Every minute counts. Every note matters.

Don’t try to track and purify every “bad karma” seed at once. You’ll exhaust yourself.

Start here: Anchor yourself in a single, wholesome mind-state for five minutes a day.

1. Sit quietly. Close your eyes.

2. Choose one: Loving-kindness (May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.) or simply the feeling of deep, quiet peace.

3. Feel it. Don’t just say the words. Generate the sensation in your chest. Let it warm you. Imagine your wish is already fulfilled — not as a frantic craving, but as a present-moment reality. What does that feel like? That’s your new state.

4. Dwell there. For five minutes, that feeling is your entire world. You are not someone wanting peace; you are peace.

In this state, you are naturally purifying old seeds and sowing new, powerful ones. You are shifting your identity from the inside out. From this place, action becomes inspired, aligned, and effortless — whether it’s cleaning your clutter or building a business.

The world doesn’t change when you chase a different reflection. It changes when you have the courage to become the person for whom that reflection is natural. You are the arbiter. And that is the most liberating truth you will ever embrace.

Ready to fully embody your new identity?

This is the work we do every day in our free Skool community, Shift Your Identity (SYI). It’s a space where we move beyond theory and into practice, supporting each other as we consciously choose and become the people we are meant to be.

If you’re ready to stop hustling against the current and start flowing with it, we’d be honored to have you.

→ Join the FREE Shift Your Identity (SYI) Community Here

3 Lessons From Deepak Chopra: On Detachment

I keep reading in various books on happiness and abundance that to really achieve what we want, we need to be detached. I have wondered about this idea and many questions have come up:

Does being detached mean not setting goals?
Should I not care whether or not my intention actually manifests? But I do care, so how can I be detached?
How can I take the next steps on my way to achieving my goals if I am to be detached.

Have you wondered like I have, what does it actually mean to be detached? And how can I apply it in my life to make my dreams into a reality?

Detachment doesn't mean not caring.
First of all, what I learned is the word detachment has many meanings and in psychology one meaning is the inability to emotionally connect with others. Another meaning is disconnecting emotionally from others in order to protect oneself.

But that is not what is meant by the well-known and prolific author of the book, "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success", Deepak Chopra.

Get your copy: https://www.simpleandaligned.com/chopra-seven (Partnerlink: when you buy the book through this link, we may receive a commission with no surcharge for you.)

What he means by detachment is the practice and the art of releasing attachment to the end result. So we still make our goals. We still plan and take actions in alignment with our values and priorities. But we focus on what we can do and let go of how something should turn out. This is all encapsulated in a beautiful short chapter called, The Law of Detachment and I made a video about it.

In this video, I share with you:

- What is attachment and how it emerges from the prison of the past.
- The role fear plays in preventing us from being detached.
- How adventurous and exciting it can be to be detached and I share the example of baking a cake.
- Why we are not going for perfection but practicing bit by bit.
- The amazing quote from the book on how we can achieve our dreams with ease.

What I love about this law is that it is all about making things happen by getting out of our way and letting the Universe conspire events in our favor. It doesn't mean not taking action and leaving it up to the Universe, it means being flexible not stubborn and not clinging to our idea of how it should all turn out. When we do that, our intentions become a reality.

This is yet another long video, so get yourself a nice cup of herbal tea or nourishing juice or whatever nourishes you, get comfy and enjoy this video. I shot this video outdoors so there will be helicopter sounds and happy birds singing in the background - for me, that's all part of being detached of how my videos should turn out!

Also, as you noticed this the second video from Chopra's book. There are total of seven laws in the book and I intend to continue making a video on each single law because I feel that the wisdom and practical directions in this book has made an enormous impact on my life. And I believe that my sharing from the book can help you be happier and more fulfilled.

What I would love to know is how you view detachment, how you have have dealt with it or how you practice letting go of attachment to the end results.

I am really grateful that you took the time to read this message. Thank you for being part of our Happiness Lovers Family. And if you’s like to belong, join our community now by going here.

Love and harmony,

Sophia
Helping You Live A Happier Life

PS: Click here to go to the video where I share 3 Lessons from Deepak Chopra's Seventh Law of Dharma or Life Purpose.